bed bugs

I'm kind of freaked out about bed bugs lately. Okay, "kind of" is an understatement. I'm entirely freakin' paranoid about bed bugs lately. The thought that they're coming back with a vengeance really grosses me out. I've checked my bed and clothing that I've got home. In checking my bed I don't just mean that I've looked under the blankets - oh no, I take the sheet corners off and look along the seams on the mattress, underneath the piping, in the hems of the sheets, etc. to make sure there aren't any. At night if I have a tickly spot, or a creepy crawly feeling I've been turning on the lamp to flip back the covers and try to catch the little devils in their tracks.

I have yet to find any.

The other day Steven and I were having a conversation about bed bugs. He thinks it's silly. I imagine the headaches and stress that would be involved in trying to get rid of them. Did you know that a bedbug can live an entire year after just one feeding? So the little bugger can hide under your baseboard forever, even while you're killing all his buddies, and then scurry out, climb back onto your bed and begin repopulating your home.

Not funny now is it? Huh Steven?

We were having a bedbug conversation. He thinks it's funny. He thinks (I think) that I'm kind of kidding when I talk about bedbugs. I'm really not.

I told him that I was dead serious. That if one of his dying relatives came to our door one last time to say goodbye, and I knew that he/she had bedbugs in the house that I'd yell through the door to go home and pick up the phone because I wouldn't be letting bedbuggy people in here. He laughed. Okay, it probably does sound like I'm just trying to make him laugh, but I'm really quite serious. He asked if it would be any different if it was one of my relatives. I said no. Sorry all, but if you have a bedbug infestation don't be coming here.

Would I spend a night in a hotel right now? Probably not. Would I be all excited to hang out with you in the days/weeks following your hotel stay? Probably not. It's kind of unfair to bring your hotel bedbugs to my house you know.

It creeps me right the heck out. I'd rather one of the kids came home with head lice.

I've been sitting here feeling exceptionally creepy crawly ever since I looked up that picture.

I really hope they find an effective way to send the little parasites into extinction soon.