tiffany's spot

Today there was no school, so the kids and I have been home all day. We've also got a fifth kid around here somewhere since his parents work and this poor kid would have waited quietly in the garage all day for his parents to come home had I not intervened. I know. I'm a saint. The worst part of babysitting isn't that the kids wander off and you don't see them all day. No. It's not that there's an extra kid to feed. It's not that it gets any weirder around here, because that's really not even possible. The worst part is the debriefing. You know it, I know it. To avoid judgment from other parents, you've got to make sure that you and the extra kid have your stories straight. Usually kids are pretty good at figuring it out, especially if you lean a little towards intimidation. Because really, there's nobody around to help him. You've got him on his own. You know you've got about an hour until he's picked up, and you need to lay do...

Sometimes I want to go back and find specific blog posts. It's hard. I've decided to rectify that by making my titles more specific to the post. Right? Today I skipped school and went into the city for a day of shopping with all the women in my family. 'Twas fun. We ate a lot and shopped a little and spent the bulk of the day trying to get certain family members to leave stores with sale prices when it was time to eat again. All good. Then I came home to model some of my new outfits for my supposedly doting husband. Know what he did? He laughed at my unitard. Not even kidding. I know, I've spent years mocking people in full-body spandex, but when I do it he should be more supportive. In my own defense, I was still wearing the leggings (I know, I know, leggings ) from the previous outfit and I put on a black undershirt so I could show him the sweater/cardigan/button-uppy "thing" that went over it, but somewhere in the middle of all of this I had on a ...

One of my favorite Disney movies has always been Beauty and the Beast. As a girl I thought Belle such a strong-minded, feminist-type woman, who bucked the conventions of her time and wanted more out of her life than the typical roles laid out for the bun-baking, baby making women of her small town. She even turns down a marriage proposal from the most coveted man in the region. As a woman, I realize that Belle ended up running off into the bush and marrying the first man-beast she found there. Not sure if scrubbing pots and birthing dozens of offspring is somehow less provincial when done in a ramshackle, cursed castle. But I digress. This was Beast when Belle found him. Since the super hairy, ultra masculine character in this story never receives a name other than Beast, I shall continue to call him that without fear of offense. See how her heart swells with love for the man she knows she can change this beast into? What? You didn't know that the story was an allegory for every r...

It was supposed to be a secret, but Angela told. Yes, it is my 25th birthday today. Feel free to send money.