Showing posts from 2015

groceries with elliot

"Mommy! Just cover me up with groceries!"


Moments later: "Mommy, Mommy! It hurts!" (I'm translating. She actually said "Mommy, Mommy! It huhhts! Gotta love the speech impediments).

As a responsible, loving parent, I said, loudly (people laughed, they are as awful I as I am), "Stop wiggling around! You're squishing my bread! We are almost to the till!"

looking for something in the garage. with his mandolin

This seems to be the week of Steven. I came home the other night and when I opened the garage door, he was standing there, in his pajamas, playing the mandolin. It was somewhat unexpected.

Steven has this thing where he does these random things, that I'm sure make perfect sense to him, but are highly amusing to me.

Keep it up honey.

robots are taking over

I really don't know why his arm is sticking directly out the front of the box.

Tennyson spent a bunch of time today taping random recycling bits together, filling in the spaces with newspapers. Then when he went to "robot fight" with his dad and the paper all fell apart, well, so did he. Hence, the box. Thanks to Steven for picking up the box for him - and for trying it on after.

Is not how I put socks and underwear away. Steven's undies are now better organized than mine.

i did not do so many things this week

I really didn't. I would never do things that would make people shake their heads, or smirk, or any of that other stuff. People shouldn't anyway, because that would be unkind, especially since I don't mock people.

For instance:

Let's just get ingress out of the way, since Steven thinks it's incredibly nerdy and I'd hate to give him more ammo to make fun of it all:
I did not relentlessly heckle complete strangers from opposing factions (in communications, not in person) when they came through town just before the weekend, and destroyed only two of my portals. That wouldn't be good sportsmanship.I also did not avoid having a Thanksgiving drink all weekend with my husband, just in case the bad guys came back through at the end of the weekend (okay, I'll admit, I had serious suspicions. Probably because he said "see you soon....")I also did not ditch Steven with dinner prep at 4:30 tonight when, after following the communications log all day, I rea…

thanksgiving sunday, and biking, and some other super awesome randomness

This is a weird Thanksgiving weekend for us. There have been years where we have had to squeeze two or three gatherings into a single weekend, sometimes a single day. This year? Nada. I'll admit, there were times this weekend when I was a little pouty about having four days off and no plans, but on the other hand, it was kind of nice to have a weekend without a bunch of running around. It seems our weekends fill up really fast these days.

Today (on Sunday, because of course I'm not backdating this, that would be Blogtober Cheating, and I'm nothing if not completely honest), I got up at 7am and decided to go for a bike ride.

Keep in mind I'm more of a runner/walker, and when it comes to biking, it's more for leisure or family time. But no, today I was going to make this my exercise, so I went alone.

I must also add, that, should you think it unkind of me to ditch my kids and husband to go biking, when clearly, everyone loves it, remember that I spend a lot of time w…
Steven and the kids are watching a movie. I was supposed to be watching the movie with them, but I completely tuned it out just minutes in. It's boring and ridiculous. It's called Asterix and the Mansions of the Gods, or something.

I know how we all make fun of Disney, but this is definitely NOT Disney. There is a reason Disney is popular. The reason is - they don't make shitty kids movies.

That's really about all.

dishwashers, and, apparently, bear hunting.

My boys are begrudgingly drying dishes for me. They're talking about how when they grow up, they're going to have dish washers and dish dryers. Then this conversation happens:

"Yeah," says Mitchell. "Because I don't wanna do work."

"Mitch," I sigh, "You're never going to get married you know." (not that we push the idea that everyone needs to get married, but just go with me.)

"I don't wanna get married," he says, matter of factly.

Okay, now Mitchell is this total cuddly sweetheart who has lots of girl friends at school.

"Mitch," I say, "Why not?"


"What if you find a really really nice girl that you really like and you want to be with her all the time?"

"I won't."

"You might. And you can cuddle up and watch movies and have fun snacks."

"I can watch movies all by myself and eat ALL the snacks."

"Hey," said Tennyson, "W…

book club

Tonight was book club. It was my turn to host, meaning that my house is now clean going into the weekend (that doesn't happen often). The book was Common Ground by Justin Trudeau. Did it sway my vote either way? No. I actually did not enjoy the book, and only made it to page 35. I may not have admitted this to the group, but fortunately (or unfortunately, since I'm a bit of a talker), I completely lost my voice yesterday and spent the evening eating and pouting and attempting, from time to time, to whisper, so nobody noticed.

I really love book club. I may be admitting my nerdiness, but it's seriously the highlight of my month. Next month we are back to fiction and it's a book that sounds pretty interesting so I'm pumped! Our group is made up of 9 women. We are all ages, and have different jobs and family situations, different backgrounds, etc. and the conversation and the different viewpoints are awesome. Happily, nobody is overly scary so we all feel pretty comfo…

New cup. Neocitran. Titling these things is increasingly easier. Is "increasingly easier" redundant?


I bought a new cup to replace the cup that had been my favorite for a dozen years until it broke. 
This one is full of Neocitran. I have self-diagnosed the plague. 
You would think we cured the plague. You would be wrong. 
I am waiting for the magic of this drink to kick in. Admittedly, I have absolutely zero tolerance for whatever they put in it to make it so magical. 
In a few minutes I should be in a neocitran coma. It's my favorite.

tuesday, blogtober 6th. steven laughed at my clothes and hurt my fingers

Sometimes I want to go back and find specific blog posts. It's hard. I've decided to rectify that by making my titles more specific to the post. Right?

Today I skipped school and went into the city for a day of shopping with all the women in my family. 'Twas fun. We ate a lot and shopped a little and spent the bulk of the day trying to get certain family members to leave stores with sale prices when it was time to eat again.

All good.

Then I came home to model some of my new outfits for my supposedly doting husband.

Know what he did? He laughed at my unitard. Not even kidding. I know, I've spent years mocking people in full-body spandex, but when I do it he should be more supportive. In my own defense, I was still wearing the leggings (I know, I know, leggings) from the previous outfit and I put on a black undershirt so I could show him the sweater/cardigan/button-uppy "thing" that went over it, but somewhere in the middle of all of this I had on a "fitt…

not me monday

I would just like to take this opportunity to point out that unlike other people in this town, I do not go out walking or running in the dark wearing all dark clothing. That would be irresponsible. I certainly do not walk on the road instead of the sidewalk simply because I dislike all of our crappy neighborhood sidewalks. No sirree. Not me. Nor would I ever dream of worrying homeowners by walking down back lanes with my phone flashlight all in the name of taking short cuts to portals.

Because that would be silly. I'm not 15 after all. Not for 14 years now.

I am also entirelyabove smugly feeling like a bad-ass ninja after-dark walker when I see people coming toward me and they move a little closer together and hold hands.

Because I'm totally not scary. Not at all.

my lunch

A bowl of Greek yogurt with a squirt of blueberry syrup, and a glass of wine. 
This is why I could never run a popular food blog. 
This is why being a grown up is sometimes seriously awesome. 
This was completely necessary to make room for the kids' lunch boxes. I certainly wasn't going to drink four litres of milk. 
This has been spirited away so I can eat it in my room where nobody else is. 
This follows a day where I've actually eaten very little in proportion to the amount of running I did this morning. Should be a pleasant afternoon. 

today's ten things, and a bit of other randomness

I'm not feeling particularly "bloggy" tonight. There are a few things that would be fun to write about, but I don't want to ruin them.

If that makes sense.

Nanowrimo is coming again in November. I know it's kind of goofy to devote so much time to something I'll never ever let anyone else read, or read again myself (for the most part), but it's awfully fun to do. I've only ever finished twice, so this year I'm determined to make the third.

I made Steven order a power cord for his own computer last night. I just now kicked him off his computer so I could take back my power cord.

I feel like I should write about what we did today. Let's do it in ten points.

Today's Ten Things:

1. I took Elliot to swimming lessons, but not before she freaked out at me at home because I brushed her rat's nest air, and she doesn't think it needs brushing if she doesn't have to go to school. Her meltdown quickly became a tantrum, and she declared throug…

two things: one to do with running, the other with my fastly-deteriorating fashion sense

I've started running again. I'm not sure if I ever "officially" stopped, but I only ran twice in August, totalling about nine miles, so I kind of felt like when I restarted in September that I was, well, restarting.

This is probably not even blog-worthy. It would probably be better served disappearing into the chasm that is facebook, but I need blog topics, so here it is.

I once had a friend (coughcoughangelacough) who said that she didn't run outside because she was afraid that just maybe, she ran "funny," and people would see her. Being an awesome friend, I insisted that surely she didn't.

I lied.

I have never even seen her run. I have just recently decided that she does run funny. Wanna know why? (as if spell check didn't underline 'wanna')

Everyone runs funny. Quite seriously, everyone. I prefer to run outside, because the treadmill sucks my will to live, and a mile or two in I turn into a sighing, eye-rolling teenager, out of sheer b…


Today is the first day of Blogtober. I am being forced to dictate this to a device instead of typing it into my computer like a normal person. I even had an awesome blog in mind. I was going to tell you all about taking Jordan to the art gallery to see the Greek exhibit, complete with awesome pictures, humorous anecdotes, and and especially disturbing, yet incredible giant dead baby. My friend insisted that the baby was not meant to be dead, merely giant, but you can judge for yourself.
Do you know when you can judge for yourself?
When Steven returns my laptop power cord. I imagine him sitting in the kitchen right now giggling to himself as he listens to me curse at Siri for screwing up every third word.
Stevens power cord stopped working a long, long time ago. Now he steals my power cord any time he wants to use his computer. Unfortunately, the battery in my computer no longer works for more than a minute or two without being plugged in.
This should make for an awesome blog Tober. Do you…

Maze Runner 2


the last coke

Dear Steven:
Hey, I wanted some coke to drink with my soup.
But there was no coke!
Can you believe it?
Me neither.
But don't worry, I found one.
Although, I DID have to open a box.
And once it's open....
Love you    -Tiffany

This is the series of texts I sent him today. I don't know if any of you remember my facebook posts from just after Coca Cola changed its recipe:

There is one case of coke left. At most, we had 26. I think Steven is having a hard time coming to terms with the end of his never-ending supply.
Also, I would think that (as the original facebook post suggests) since he spent OUR life savings, the coke should be OURS. Apparently he does not agree. Suddenly it is his coke. I told him that six of them are his. Five are mine. 
He made this face:

See, he doesn't even look all that angry. It's like he WANTS me to just help myself. 
Love you honey.

gym, ten year old style

I am teaching phys. ed. today (I have prep now. I'm not actually doing this during class. For real). This is obviously because when I originally walked into the division office all those years ago to add myself to the sub list, the staff took one look at me and thought, "wow, there's an athlete. Stick her in phys. ed." Right?
Today we are practicing football. I was literally hit in the ass by (what I hope was) an errant football. This sort of thing does not happen in high school English Lit classes. Ever. The worst I ever get hit with is a little light eye-rolling and some teenage attitude. Once I sort of got hit on by a strange little 13 year old, but that's another story altogether, and that was health class. Anyway. Ass. Football. 
My favourite students today:
1) The pair of ten year old girls who literally could not throw. They didn't even have the slightest notion. I'm talking between the legs, over the head stuff. They weren't giggling or being sil…

today's load

I wish I'd taken pictures of the other piles of things that have left this house in the last week or so. Today there were two mirrors, three boxes, a plastic bag, and a pair of boots that went to MCC, as well as two re-usable grocery bags full of kids' books that I gave to my sister-in-law. She'll keep a few at home and take the rest to her school. She teaches in a multi-grade early years classroom, so they'll definitely go to better use there than they were here! Also in this pile is a Tupperware cake taker that I've had for years and never used once, that I delivered and sold to a lady here in town, as well as a couple of other bags of things that I had borrowed from friends.

Rest assured, if I owe you any stuff it'll be on its way!

completely on the same page


inspired by minimalism

I've been reading books on Minimalism.

In the last few months, my home has been driving me NUTS. There is just stuff everywhere. I think it's the basement renovations that have kind of pushed me over the edge and found me kind of depressed about the mess and clutter.

Then about a week ago I read a really interesting article on minimalism and women's clothing. Apparently, in the not-so-distant past, the average woman used to own a measly nine outfits. Today's average is 33 outfits. I wasn't surprised. People shop, I get it.

But then I got thinking - I actually don't own much more than that really. I literally have one pair of jeans. I have a pair of yoga pants that I refuse to wear all over town because, come on, seriously. I have two pairs of dress pants. There might be a skirt in there somewhere that I never really wear.

That's, like, 5 bottoms.

When all my shirts are washed and hung up and all the hangers are slid together, they take up maybe 18 inches of…


I want to cook meat on a spit. I think that's what it's called. In the movies they make it look all appealing, the meat sizzling above a bed of coals, and later the juices running as people tear into a literal hunk of meat, their fingers dripping - because of course you eat it with your hands. Think Walking Dead, when Gareth is munching away on that chunk of meat while talking to Bob. Admit it, until you KNEW it was Bob it was pretty appetizing. 
There are never any veggies either. Just meat. Sometimes flasks. 

If steven can drop a hunk of meat into the burning barrel and then eat it hours later, I should totally be able to do this.

summer camp

Today I dropped Jordan off at summer camp. She will be gone for five nights. Five!

It's the same camp I went to as a kid, and I loved it! The time away from home, meeting new friends, trying new things, it was always the highlight of my summer.

In the spring I asked her if she still wanted to go to summer camp. Last year she pointed out to me a number of times that other kids she knew had gone to sleep-away camp, and not just to a day camp, so this spring I asked her if she still wanted to go to a sleep-away summer camp, and she jumped at it. I sent away her registration, and a few days later received a confirmation email. She excitedly chose her four activities for the week and was happy to hear that her cousin would be joining her.

As it came closer, I could tell she was nervous. She mentioned a few times recently that she'd miss me. I told her that I'd miss her too, but that I was excited for her to try something new and fun.

Today we packed up the campsite that we had …

camping - spruce woods

This weekend I took my kids (the husband showed up a day later) and met with my larger, extended family for a weekend camping trip. It was actually our first camping trip this year (I know, weird. Normally it would have been our 3rd or 4th by  now), and I was ready to camp it up.

As with any camping trip with young kids (probably older kids too I'm sure, I'm probably kidding myself by thinking that my kids' ridiculousness will end with a little age), there were highlights and lowlights. Lowlights? Lesslights? Almost burnedoutlights? Cringe-worthy moments?

Anyway, let me break it down. Let's start with the good. Because honestly, we love camping, and now that I've gone once I'm kind of mourning the fact that we didn't go sooner.


(way better ring than "lowlights," admit it)

Jordan managed to sleep in the tent from dusk until dawn one whole time on our camping trip! I know! After the…

MS Walk

After a few years of soccer tournaments inevitably falling on the MS Walk day, I'll finally be lacing up my shoes and joining my friends here in town to participate.

I think it's a great cause. If you'd like to sponsor me for the walk, please click the link below. Thanks!

first 5K in forEVER

I need to blog about Mitchell's eye exam experience later, but it'll take a minute to type it out, plus it's kind of funny so I want to do it justice. You'll have to wait.

You meaning me. Because I'm the only one who still comes here. Because every once in a while I'll go back and read my own blog for an hour and laugh at how ridiculously clever I am.

It's true. It's a total vanity blog.


I have 11 weeks until the Manitoba Marathon. I'll be running the half. I was supposed to start my 12 week training program last Monday, but I kind of didn't, because I had the super fun sore throat that only shows up in the mornings, which makes morning runs kind of sucky, and THEN that sore throat turned into Strep Throat on Wednesday night, and that's good for a week of laying on the couch long after the antibiotics have done their thing, insisting I am too sick to complete even the most menial tasks, never mind running.

This has been the worst run…

spring update

Well, it's been a while! Of course it's because life is fast and busy and I'd have lots to blog about. The last post is about signing the kids up for a poetry recital. In true Tiffany fashion, I've actually not had the kids practice at all yet, and it's a month away. Jordan still insists that she's not doing it, and after I wrote that last blog post she took her poem and wrote in big letters across the page that she was NOT doing the recital, and that it's STUPID. Nine year olds are awesome. I told her today that tonight she is going to sit down and type it out so that we have a copy of it that isn't defaced, and then she's going to print it out and read it to me a couple of times. That'll learn her.

Jordan has been bugging for months to get her eyes tested again. Apparently she can't see the board at school unless she's sitting close to it. Last spring I took her for an eye test, and the doc said that she did have a small prescription,…

meanest mother EVER, and the kids are doing a poetry recital!

There is a community speaking arts festival coming up in April. A couple of weeks ago, a sign up sheet came home for any parents who wanted to sign their kids up. I put the paper into one of the paper "piles" and kind of forgot about it. Then the other night at gymnastics I was talking to another parent and she had signed her boys up.

Then I started really thinking about it. You sign your kid up. You pay $8 for the privilege. Your kid memorizes a poem that he picks out with the help of his teacher. Your kid recites the poem on stage, getting a chance for a little public speaking and a teeny performance. I really started thinking about Mitchell and how shy he can be. Wouldn't it be awesome if he could choose a short four or five line poem, memorize it, feel good about it, and perform it? I know! The answer is yes!

Fast forward to the next day in the van.

Me: Hey guys, there's this thing you can sign up for where you get to pick out a poem, memorize it and then perform …

pancakes, sledding and friends. perfect wintery sunday.

We had to make up for our lazy Saturday with a slightly more adventurous Sunday! This morning our friends Amy and Kevin and their three lovely children came over for pancake breakfast. We ate a giant heap of pancakes, fruit, sausages and bacon and washed it all down with litres of coffee and good conversation. I'm thinking even the youngest of the bunch was totally thrilled.

This afternoon we met up with our other friends Mike and Sunny and their kids and we stood at the top of the snow hill pretending to be outdoorsy while our kids traveled up and down the ridiculously icy hill. We have had some nice spring-type weather lately, and the crazy back and forth of thawing and freezing has made the hill a little like a luge run.

The kids thought it was awesome, and flew down the hill over and over at breakneck speeds. We lasted a full hour until Elliot finally slipped and smacked her face on the hill (who'd have thought the first injury would be walking up the hill?), and bloodied …

lazy at-home saturday

We are having the laziest Saturday ever, and I love it. We had no soccer at 9 this morning, and I skipped my 7am bootcamp class because I coughed myself awake all night, and sleeping in until 9 was nice. We told the kids we would take them sledding or snowshoeing or something this morning since we had no soccer, but it's now 2:30pm and we haven't done much of anything. No laundry. No floors. No bathrooms.

I'm supposed to get groceries and bake a cake some point today, so I suppose we will have to move around eventually.

My kids have been running all over the house today, playing some sort of all-house games, alternated with a little bickering, and they seem to enjoy the day at home.

Our weeks are pretty busy between school, gymnastics, soccer and piano lessons, and pajama Saturdays are a welcome break.

This is what they're up to right now. Jordan has been reading all day. All. Day. Lately it's the Percy Jackson series. I'm glad she found a new series she likes.…

i should never really surf amazon

I really should never really surf Amazon, because then I want things. I know I probably should have come up with this before Christmas, but how awesome does this look:

Each page has a date (minus the year), and a question about your day, what you think about something, how you feel about something, etc. Following that, there are five places to enter an answer. You fill in the first one. Then the next day you fill in the first answer on the next page, and when you get to the end of the book, you go back to the beginning and fill in the next blank under the same question. There are 365 days. Cool eh?

I saw this at school today, and I want it too:

The book is made up of literally, 642 things to write about, and writing space for each of them. It is literally, English homework for grownups! I know! You are all clicking the link right now and ordering it!

Why is it that I always have a way better wish list in January than I do in November?

Getting rid of baby sister, and missing out on Oreos

Elliot comes up from the basement, her face lit up with excitement. "Mommy!" She says, "Tennyson and Mitchell said you have treats hidden for me!"
I take her little face in my hands. "Aw honey, I don't," I say. "I think they just made that up."
Her brows furrow as realization sets in. "They were just trying to make me go away?"
I nod. "Yep. That's not very nice is it?"
She shakes her head no. 
"You know what?" I say, "I'll find you a treat. Just for you."
Elliot skips around my feet, delighted, "and not Tennyson and Mitchell?" She is practically glowing with her newfound privilege. 
"Nope," I say, before rummaging through the cupboard and giving her two Oreos. 
The boys have since realized what has happened and the dialogue drifting up the basement stairwell sounds downright mutinous. 
Stinkers had it coming.

monday, monday

Back to the grind this frigid January morning. It took me 15 minutes to get to the babysitter's from my house because I had to follow a snow plow all the way down crescent at 12kph. I'm not even kidding. You can imagine the wonderful lessons in road rage that I'm teaching my kids. 
I finally parked at the high school (on time actually, bc road rage pays). As I was walking in, I noticed kids wearing sneakers and thought that boots would be warmer, but being that they would be inside all day, it wasn't surprising. 
Because teenagers aren't really that dumb. Right?
Until I noticed the number of them arriving at school WITH NO JACKETS on. What is wrong with people? You do not look cool! You look like idiots!
The windchill right now is -37! 
My kids will lose serious rights and privileges if I ever catch them running around without fricking winter jackets. 
(Super fun aside: the other day Elliot was storming around the hall, angry because someone locked her out of the main ba…

the ocean - signed, sealed and delivered

I ordered The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman for my book club. Imagine my pleasant surprise when Amazon sent me a signed copy!

Also, this is definitely what I'll be doing for the rest of this morning. If you haven't read it I suggest doing so.