Showing posts from October, 2010

note to the "husband"

Imagine you're curled up on the couch, with your wife. Your lovely wife who has just given you your fourth perfect baby. Who always has a nice hot dinner waiting for you at the end of your work day, who does your laundry, folds your socks, cleans your home, cares for your children. Suppose she has just brought you a tasty snack and tucked your warm sleeping baby into her crib for the night.

Suppose you're watching a movie where men and women are rating members of the opposite sex from 1 - 10.

Suppose your wife asks you what you would rate her.

It's not a trick question.

You don't have to lie.

Unless you don't think she's a ten.
This is the second last day of Blogtober. I'm a little relieved. I'm kind of a forgetful person and there have been more than a few days where it's almost slipped my mind and I hacked something out quickly before going to bed.

That, and November is National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo), so my "work" has just begun.

Tomorrow is Halloween. I love Halloween. Next year I'm going to come up with some cooler ideas for the kids for dressing up, and I'm going to dress me and Steven too.

Today we took the kids to a kids Halloween party here in town. It was fun - there was a little haunted house, a candy buffet (there were veggies too, bet you can guess which family DIDN'T take any of those), a magic show, and some various mascots. I was going to take a bunch of pictures, but I forgot. Oops. Told you, forgetful. Tomorrow I will. Promise. Maybe.
I just went back and double checked, and I have not missed a single day in Blogtober! I'm not saying that all my posts were entirely entertaining and intelligent bogger material, but they're there!
Honestly, the kids are driving me nut this afternoon. Last night after they went to bed, Steven and I stuck a few buckets of their toys into the storage room, thinking that we'd make it more manageable.

This morning they dumped all the toys. ALL OF THEM. They also broke some stuff. I sent them down there just before lunch to clean up. They're still at it, and it's 4:07. I'm so annoyed. Now they're down there fighting about who isn't cleaning. I know that the only way they're going to do it is if I stand over them and nag. It's so frustrating. If they'd stop just dumping everything out (which I tell them daily) it wouldn't be such a chore.

You know what I need? I need a day off. I'm trying to get my friend Lorelie to sign on for a day of Christmas shopping. We go every year. I actually only see her 3 or 4 times a year, so it's a highly anticipated shopping day, including lunch and hours spent at a bunch of different stores, lists in hand. I…
Hello! I've managed to bully my friend Naomi into starting a blog. Okay, not sure if "bullied" is the right word, but she asked me about it and I highly encouraged it!
Today I told the kids to go down and clean up their toys before lunch. Instead, they played down there for hours and then opened up a fairly large stuffed animal and scattered the stuffing all over the entire basement, among all the toys that had been dumped out of each and every toy bucket.

I should have taken a picture, but I was too mad.

diaper gym drama

Today is one of those days where I really wish it was bedtime already. Not mine so much - theirs. They're driving me nuts.

Tennyson had the mother of all meltdowns this morning. Twice. Once at the library (that one wasn't even so bad) and then another at diaper gym. I asked him to stop rearranging the chairs in the entrance, and I started to fix them myself. He started to flip out. I put him in time-out. He sat in the chair and cried and punched the wall. I took him into the bathroom, smacked his bum once and then put him back in the chair and told him to stop smacking the wall. He went on to give me evil looks while crying and screaming at the same time, kicking the wall, shoving his chair away from the wall while kicking it, and pretty much trying his darnedest to disrupt everyone and get his own way by embarrassing me and showing me how mad and upset he was.

This carried on for a while. I tried again to get him to stop kicking the wall, but to no avail. Then I said "forg…
One word ONLY:You are: coldYou like: food, i mean, broccoliWhat do you like the most about earth: lifeName one friend you would eat for 1,000,000$: just one?Would you kill a dog for 1 million dollars: maybeYes or no:Live with your parents? NoOwn YOUR car: yes (van)Have more than 100$ in your wallet? noSeen someone get killed or die in front of you: no.Been raped? Nohave siblings? YesPut an x to everything that is true:Have you ever...[] Fantasized about your teacher?
[] Wanted to kill someone?[] Stuck your gum under a table[] Told a friend that you were doing something else with your family, even though you had already promised them to do something with them?[x] Said i love you, and actually felt it[] Called someone a slut[x] Been called a slut[ ] faked to be handicap just to be in those handicap parkings?[x] Blonde[x] Brunette[x] red head[ ] Other-Answer these questions:What should you be doing right now? tidying up my incredibly messy house. Washing poo out of the baby clothes that…
Went to yoga tonight. Felt all mellow when I got home and just woke up from an hour nap on the couch. Does it count as a nap when it's 9 o'clock at night? Or is Steven right, and it's a pre-sleep, sleep?

nine weeks

Can you believe that Christmas is only nine weeks away? That's crazy. I guess it doesn't seem like it should be that close. There is no snow, and the grass is still green (of course now that I've said it...).

Yet, I'm getting excited about it, green grass or not. I feel like figuring out my Christmas calendar, starting my Christmas shopping and planning some stuff with friends and family.

And then there's this other part of me that dreads Christmas. Seems like we always end up getting in trouble with someone, or we're not where we're supposed to be when we're supposed to be there. Christmas shopping is a little stressful. The days are kind of full. The kids are tired. I'm tired.

I think the part I look forward to the most is Christmas morning with my kids. We'll open a few gifts and I'll make something a little more special for breakfast (or we'll just eat chocolate turtles) and we'll wonder at how quiet it is on the streets.

I'm sur…


It's that time again! November is only nine days away, and you know what November is! National Novel Writing Month, otherwise known as NaNoWriMo.

I tried last year and did not reach my 50,000 word goal. Nor did I ever end up finishing my novel. It was going to be really dumb anyway. The beauty of it though, is that dumb is okay. The whole idea is simply to write a story. You don't need to edit it, it doesn't need to be a literary masterpiece. Just write with reckless abandon and watch the word counter grow.

I'm going to try again this year. You in?

story time



You know how I know I'm cool? Because it's Friday night and the only thing keeping me from just going to bed is facebook. That's right. Too cool to care, but not cool enough to not know I'm cool. Convoluted? Yep. Because I'm so smart, but not smart enough to spell convoluted without spell-check. Not smart enough to spell "spell check" without spellchecker either, it would seem.

Is there any way to add "facebook" to the computer's dictionary so that it isn't underlined in the red squiggly line of "you're stupid" every time I try and type it out somewhere?

Oh wait, never mind, I figured it out all by myself.

I'm of above-average intellismartness.

a good day

I was so grumpy this morning. I was going to get up, go for a run, make the kids clean the basement and then head off to playgroup.

I slept in.

The kids, after being sent downstairs to clean up their mess, dumped out all the rest of their toys that were actually in the toy boxes already. I turned into Fiona, without the pleasant disposition.

I was sure it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Then I went to diaper gym. Before that I had to stand over the kids and make them finish cleaning, because I told them that if they didn't clean up their toys we weren't going to go - and I really wanted to go.

At diaper gym the kids were actually pretty good. Jordan had been counting down sleeps for two weeks until there was no school on a diaper gym day.

Sure they snuck onto the stage a couple of times, and I put them in time out once for swinging around the horse-head-on-a-stick and hitting stuff with it, but over all, it was good. I love to see them laughing and play…
I almost forgot today!

I went to a boot camp class tonight. I think someone may have to come over tomorrow and complete my daily tasks for me. My arms were burning from every angle by the time we were done. They're fine now, but I know that it'll all come back to haunt me tomorrow.

On the plus side, just think of the calories burned!

I went to a yoga class on Monday night that was fantastic! I've only been to one other one before, but the one one Monday night was with a new teacher. It was her first time teaching yoga in this center so she started with a more beginner class. Unlike the first class I went to, there was no giggling, tipping over, etc. and she dimmed the lights, had music on, and kept the different poses going. There were no breaks, it was just a constant transition between poses. It could be an absolutely wonderful stress relief. I think I'm hooked - I hope she keeps doing it here. She'll progressively make the classes more challenging as the weeks go …

tennyson's latest meltdown

Tennyson is having the meltdown of all meltdowns right now. The last half hour or so with him has been exceptionally trying.

The other day when I dropped him off at nursery school I could hear him call "Mommy" as I reached the outside door. Then I heard him start crying. I left anyway. I phoned in a little later, Mrs. C said that he had been fine a minute later, and that leaving was the thing to do. I knew that really, I just wanted to make sure that that's what the teachers there wanted.

Tennyson has told me a few times in the last couple of days that he didn't get a snack at nursery school the other day, and that all the other kids did. I kept assuring him that yes, he must have gotten a snack. His nursery school is awesome, and their awesomeness is not derived from choosing one kid to not give a snack to. He kept insisting, and then finally he told me "Mommy, I did not get one, I did not! Ask my teachers!"

So I did. I figured it was probably something silly…


Tennyson (looking into the pan): "What's that in there? Mushrooms? I do not like mushrooms. I do not. But I do like them cooked Mommy, I do. If they are not cooked I do not like them, but if they are cooked I do. That's the rules. That's the rules of my eatin mushrooms."

the babies in the van go roll roll roll

It's day 19 today. I actually have a couple of good post ideas, but I think maybe I'll take more than 46 seconds to write them out. Wait, I forgot one. Okay, I have one good post idea. The other one is in my head somewhere, right at the edge of the fog. I'll let you know if it ever comes back.

My littlest imp rolled over in her crib today. Twice! The other day I went in there and she was turned from her stomach to her back, and I was all excited until Jordan told me she had flipped Elliot over so she could look at her mobile. Today she rolled over before Jordan even woke up, and then she did it again at the end of her nap.

Not sure if she got the memo or not, but she's my last baby. She's supposed to not do all this stuff just yet.

And no, I still don't want another one. Imagine the vehicle I'd have to drive?

Pretty bitchin' swagger wagon eh? But no.

Not that I couldn't pull it off.

With any luck it would have a ladder on the back so that I could climb up…

stuff the kids dictated

Jordan is silly.
Tennyson is stinky.
Daddy has fuzzy feet.
Tennyson has a freckly nose.
Jordan has nibbly fingers.
Elliot pukes.
Mitchell has bouncy curls.
Mommy is stinky (not).
Jordan is stinky.
Tennyson is poopy.
Mommy is wicked awesome.
Jordan is stinky with poop on her head.
Tennyson is stinky with poop all over his head.

This afternoon the kids asked to "type" stuff. They pretty much type out their names. It's their favorite. Then they dictated some (apparently) really hilarious stuff for me to type out. They laughed like little hyenas. I added some stuff too. It was also hilarious. It's cute.

I may have come up with "Mommy is wicked awesome" all by myself.


I'm down in the cold, cold basement. Steven is holding my laptop hostage upstairs and using it to download weirdo stuff. I think we need to set some serious limits. I think I need to enable some sort of parental controls with passwords.

I went to Zumba today at the PCU centre. It's my third or fourth time going to that class, and it is awesome! If you haven't tried it yet, you should. It's addictive. I wish they had it every day. It's so much fun you'll hardly notice that you're sweating profusely after the first ten minutes.

Zumba is Latin-inspired dance aerobics. It's different from aerobics in that the instructor generally doesn't stop to break down moves. She just dances, and we follow along as best we can. But it's fun. We fumble like crazy, but we all look equally ridiculous - and nobody is watching, because the minute you look away from the instructor you've lost what little grasp you've gained over the moves.

I miss my laptop. Serio…

country drive

This morning I weeded one of my flower beds. Well, half of the flower bed to be exact. The flower bed was more grass than flower by now. I'm not the best gardener to begin with, and this summer with having Elliot at the beginning of July I just let it go. I haven't been in there since June and it showed. So it took forever.

Steven wants me to come and hang out with him.
He says to do two posts tomorrow.
He obviously doesn't know how this works.

After I gave up on today's portion of weeding I had lunch and then ended up on the couch. Steven was lazing around the house and moaning about his sore back, even when the kids were NOT attacking him. He's such a drama queen. Apparently the soreness has moved into his ass, so he figures he's getting better. If he was a doctor, he wouldn't be mine.

Yes Steven, it is funny. And clever.

Betcha can't tell he's reading this over my shoulder. We're sneaky like that.

We went for a Sunday drive (yes, I know it's Sat…

sibbling squabbles

Tennyson just came in and told me that Jordan is trying to make him eat sand. Oh the joys of siblings. I remember being driven nuts by my brother as a kid. Yet, I remember playing with him constantly too. That's what my kids are like. There are times when I can hear them playing and they're laughing the full, from the bottom of the belly laughs. Ten minutes later they'll be hitting each other with toys. Following that they're begging each other to come and play where they're playing. I wish they could do somewhat less fighting, but I also know that I'm lucky that when they're not fighting they're playing together.

Yesterday was cookie day at Jordan's school. The grade 3 students' parents were responsible for sending cookies to school to help fund raise for Unicef. I almost forgot about it. Good thing I happened upon the newsletter the night before, or we could have had another snack situation. I sent Jordan's cookie money to school that morni…

strangers in the yard

Tonight at supper Tennyson told me that a stranger had been in our yard. At first I thought it was the meter reader. Tennyson said that the stranger had watched him play.

Upon being questioned, Jordan insisted that she hadn't been outside at the time so didn't see the stranger.

This really creeps me out. The older two kids can both open the back door, and they let themselves in and out of the back door into our fenced yard over the course of the day. I'm generally in the kitchen/dining room and keep watch over them.

I looked at Steven. "Would it have been a meter reader? They'll sometimes let themselves into the backyard."

"I don't know. Tennyson said something about this the other day, that someone had been in the yard and peed in the yard."

So . . . someone had exposed himself to . . .

"Tennyson, did this really happen, or was it in a dream?" I asked casually, trying not to steer his answer.

"A dream. And the stranger digged a hole in …

leave the pushups, give me a run anyday

I'm watching The Biggest Loser right now. I often watch it and think that I'd love to train with Jillian Michaels for a month or so. Then I think about it. I could totally do the cardio stuff. It's all the swinging of the kettle bells and dragging the trainers around with ropes and swinging sledge hammers down onto tires that would slay me. Not that I'm not strong, but it's never been my focus. Last week I went to a boot camp class here in town. I rocked at the running on the spot, the butt-kicks, the jumping jacks. It's when we have to do 859 squats and 700 push ups that I find myself taking short breaks at waiting desperately to get back into the running and the jumping jacks and the skipping. Because I can do that stuff forever.

Push ups suck.

I ran 6 miles each day this past long weekend. On the third day I walked for a couple of minutes before the last mile, other than that I ran non-stop. I run through the red lights and intersections, I skip around the mou…
Tennyson is sitting at the table with a piece of paper and a yellow crayon. He just informed me that he's making a constellation, with lots and lots of stars.

A constellation. As clear as day. I'm going to stop using little words with him.

They never cease to amaze me.

a messy house and mommy guilt

I really have nothing. Blogtober is getting harder. Whose idea was this anyway?

My house is so messy lately. It drives me crazy that I'm here all day (when I'm not at nursery school, diaper gym, kindergarten, grocery shopping, the library program, entertaining other mommies, etc.) and yet I feel like I don't have the home I want.

There are so many things that I have on my list of projects, tasks and things I want to get done here "soon." You'd think that since I don't have a "job" I shouldn't have any trouble keeping my house in show home condition. I'd love to. I've been meaning for a week and a half now to clean up all the flat surfaces (you know, counter tops, dresser tops, tv stand, etc.), to clean out the flower beds, maybe run the vacuum more often. I have boxes of Jordan's hand-me-down clothes to sort out and find winter outfits for Elliot, but I haven't done that. I want to finish my spring cleaning, purging and sorting…
My mom came over for dinner tonight. Does it count as Thanksgiving if we had lasagna and not turkey? I for one am thankful that we didn't have to eat turkey all weekend. I also make pretty good lasagna.
I really don't know what to write about! I think Blogtober is bringing out the mundane in me. I was about to go on about my run this morning, but I feel like I've mentioned that every day for the last few days. If you must know though, I ran six miles this morning with no walk breaks. Usually I'll walk 30 seconds at a time a couple of times (during the 4m) just to catch my breath a little. Not today. I was quite proud of myself actually.

I say it every year, but next June I'd really like to do the MB Half Marathon. I should just do it once. Even if I ended up walking chunks of it I'd still have accomplished something. I'm such a chicken.

I took Jordan and Tennyson to the new pool here in town today. It's quite an impressive complex actually: a monstrous water slide, a lazy river, a wave machine, a kiddie area, a large hot tub. The kids kept me hopping there for hours, jumping from one activity to the next. The life guard kept yelling at me about keeping the …

a good ticker day

I almost forgot about Blogtober today! I'm not sure if my life is interesting enough to bog everyday actually. I may have to cheat and toss a few pictures of the kids on or something.

My ticker dropped by three pounds this morning. Seriously, fluctuation is annoying. I have some friends who are doing a weight loss challenge. They did the first one last January, and I suggested that they weigh in every week and for every pound they were up from the week before they should put a dollar in the pot for the winner. So $20 to enter and a $1 penalty for every pound gained.

They want to start another one right shortly, and are considering $10 a pound as extra motivation to be good. I don't think I want in. The other day I weighed myself. The next day I was up 3 pounds, the next day down two. If I joined the contest and happened to weigh in on a bad day it would cost me $30 for a three pound up! And I know it's probably salt and/or water, because honestly, I don't think a four mi…

you'll notice my ticker went up today

It's so annoying. So what if my husband and I and the kids (a little) ate a Pumpkin Pie Cake in 48 hours - pumpkin is produce is it not?

Normally what I do is sort of not update the ticker if I go up a bit, because I figure that in a day or two it'll level back out. I guess that's sort of dishonest. Whatever. It's always worked before! Now I've decided to weigh in every Thursday, because all the fluctuating will be taken into account over a week and it'll steadily decline. Not so.

Last week I ran four miles a day each morning from Monday to Friday. This week I just couldn't get motivated. This morning Ellie was up at 5 to eat and I bullied myself out the door at 5:35 and ran five miles. I decided to run the extra mile after weighing myself and realizing that the pumpkin pie cake and the banana muffins and the cappuccinos were catching back up.

Did you know that I wanted to lose the baby weight by my birthday? Well that was a month ago.
I think Blogtober is turning into ListTober.

ten things i did today

I dropped Jordan off at school and then spent 40 minutes at diaper gym by myself. I'm cool like that. I'm assuming that after I left for the library other people showed up.I took the boys and Elliot to the library program. There, I sang songs, hopped up and down, rhymed and made the kids a matching game.I picked up Jordan from school and told the kids they could play at the playground there, for just a little while.I chased the kids, who were chasing a combine. Of course they couldn't hear me over the roar of the combine. Where were they supposed to be? Playground equipment. Naughty.I went home.I sent Jordan to her room for ten minutes because she screeched the entire way home from school.I ate leftovers for lunch. Yay tacos!I put the two babies to bed. Yay nap!I posted my banana muffin recipe on the recipe blog, just because Sonya made me, just because they always turn out so darn good.I hit the couch for some blogging, scrabbling and sub-par daytime tv. All that singing,…

a few of my favorite things

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittensbright copper kettles and warm woolen mittensbrown paper packages tied up with stringsold friends (like Ange (see how you made my list?))new friendstime with my husband
those crazy kidspumpkin pie cakea good book and a quiet place to readbloggingdiaper gymchristmas, once all the stressful stuff is taken care ofspringsummerfallclean laundryclean kidsgame nightstim's french vanilla cappuccinosdesperate housewives, house, grey's anatomydinner made for me by someone else. mom (if this were in ascending order she'd be WAY closer to the top)that feeling after a good workoutknowing i beat my last running timegranola barsa shady spot on a warm sunny daya cool drink with good friends around a crackling bonfirethe countrysteven's lounging pantsice-cream and carrot cake with cream cheese icing
I just overheard Olivia's dad on TV tell her to sleep tight, and not let the bedbugs bite. I should think that given the current bedbug situation, that it was just a little insensitive.

And no, this isn't my actual post for today, just thought I'd throw it out there.

no more newborn

I went and saw a friend's brand new fresh baby tonight!

Boy is Elliot not a newborn anymore. It's amazing how time flies. Tiny new babies are so sweet, special and, well, new. That being said, I really love the three monthies too. Elliot coos, smiles, gurgles and blows raspberries.

Did I mention leg rolls?

It's crazy how each stage is so special, and sweet, and fleeting. I suppose I should take a few pictures of little Rollie Pollie Ellie again pretty soon.

bed bugs

I'm kind of freaked out about bed bugs lately. Okay, "kind of" is an understatement. I'm entirely freakin' paranoid about bed bugs lately. The thought that they're coming back with a vengeance really grosses me out. I've checked my bed and clothing that I've got home. In checking my bed I don't just mean that I've looked under the blankets - oh no, I take the sheet corners off and look along the seams on the mattress, underneath the piping, in the hems of the sheets, etc. to make sure there aren't any. At night if I have a tickly spot, or a creepy crawly feeling I've been turning on the lamp to flip back the covers and try to catch the little devils in their tracks.

I have yet to find any.

The other day Steven and I were having a conversation about bed bugs. He thinks it's silly. I imagine the headaches and stress that would be involved in trying to get rid of them. Did you know that a bedbug can live an entire year after just one fe…

family pictures

Day two of blogtober and I haven't missed one yet. I rock. This morning we went out to the Austin area and had pictures done. This kicks superstores butt so far! The photographer picked us a nice outdoor rural location and took over two hours to get all the shots we needed. He took a total of 1200! Now he'll edit them down to somewhere between 40-80 of the best ones for us to work with. Very excited.

Tonight Steven and I are going on a date. Dinner without the kids (meaning we'll get to eat it while it's hot) and some plans after. I think we'll probably just go somewhere and sleep. Sleep is good.

blogtober - day 1

In celebration of Blogtober (it's a real holiday, if you don't have an extra long weekend this month you should probably talk to HR), some friends and I have committed to blogging each and every day.

I know what you're thinking - my life is boring (unlike Tiffany's) and I have nothing to blog about. That is so untrue.

Do you want to know what the trick is? To take boring stuff and try and make it interesting, or a little funny, or a little self-deprecating. If that fails, make it sound like your kids are out to get you. That's always good for a few comments.

And don't edit. I never understand how people don't have time to blog. Are you rereading your work? Checking your grammar? Don't bother. I figure that if it takes me longer to write it than it takes people to read it that I'm probably putting too much time in. If it's not something spell check doesn't high light in dead-canary yellow then it's not something I'm going to fix.

Where wa…