parenting
I'm sitting here at the computer desk and Jordan comes by for a hug. Then she takes some paper clips out of the dish. I tell her not to take things off the desk. They're not toys. Two seconds later she reaches in again, this time for a length of chain that's been fashioned into a loop. They think it's a necklace. I assume that it's on the desk because Steven took it from them for whipping it around or hitting things (or each other) with it.
"Jordan, put it back."
"But it's a necklace."
"If Daddy took it from you, you have to ask Daddy for it back. I'm not going to give it to you."
Big sigh and then she stomps off upstairs.
Tennyson looks to see what it was. He reaches for it.
"Tennyson, no. You need to ask Daddy."
"But it's a necklace!"
"Well, it's not. And if Daddy took it from you then you need to ask Daddy if you can have it back."
Then he gets mad and kicks a few toys around. "But Daddy's not going to say I can have it!"
Exactly.
I actually have a hard time not saying things at times. I don't know what it is - I'm probably more disciplinarian with the kids than he is, but when he raises his voice at them it sort of gets my hackles up. I don't think it's him - it's definitely me. There are times too, when I think he's being unfair with them and I itch to defend (sometimes I do). I know it's something I have to work on. I know if I really really disagree I should wait until the kids aren't around and talk to him about it calmly.
Admittedly I've occasionally jumped in to "save" a kid from Daddy. I know it's not fair to him, them and probably to me too - allowing the kids to manipulate the situation and fracture the solidarity between us.
These last few days I've made a point of not stepping in when he gets grumpy at them. In my defense, he does tend to grumble a lot sometimes. For instance, when he's trying to get them to pick up their toys at the end of the day. He has very little patience for it. But I need to remind myself that unless I want to have to oversee everything myself all the time I need to let him do things his way. I also realize that the kids are probably just as used to him as to me, and they definitely don't seem all that intimidated by the grumbly side of Daddy.
Whoever said this job was a cinch??
"Jordan, put it back."
"But it's a necklace."
"If Daddy took it from you, you have to ask Daddy for it back. I'm not going to give it to you."
Big sigh and then she stomps off upstairs.
Tennyson looks to see what it was. He reaches for it.
"Tennyson, no. You need to ask Daddy."
"But it's a necklace!"
"Well, it's not. And if Daddy took it from you then you need to ask Daddy if you can have it back."
Then he gets mad and kicks a few toys around. "But Daddy's not going to say I can have it!"
Exactly.
I actually have a hard time not saying things at times. I don't know what it is - I'm probably more disciplinarian with the kids than he is, but when he raises his voice at them it sort of gets my hackles up. I don't think it's him - it's definitely me. There are times too, when I think he's being unfair with them and I itch to defend (sometimes I do). I know it's something I have to work on. I know if I really really disagree I should wait until the kids aren't around and talk to him about it calmly.
Admittedly I've occasionally jumped in to "save" a kid from Daddy. I know it's not fair to him, them and probably to me too - allowing the kids to manipulate the situation and fracture the solidarity between us.
These last few days I've made a point of not stepping in when he gets grumpy at them. In my defense, he does tend to grumble a lot sometimes. For instance, when he's trying to get them to pick up their toys at the end of the day. He has very little patience for it. But I need to remind myself that unless I want to have to oversee everything myself all the time I need to let him do things his way. I also realize that the kids are probably just as used to him as to me, and they definitely don't seem all that intimidated by the grumbly side of Daddy.
Whoever said this job was a cinch??
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