i remember that time

  • when I used to lay in bed all night to finish a good book, and then sleep in until noon.
  • when I used to decide at 8pm that I wanted to rent a movie, so I grabbed my keys and left.
  • when I used to have a full-time job and money!
  • when I wrote, and journalled, and emailed like crazy.
  • when I could talk on the phone for hours without interruption.
  • when I went out with friends and didn't have to hire a sitter.
  • when I had sleepovers and we did ridiculous things.

I'll always remember

  • how three little sticky faces run to the door for hugs and kisses when I come home.
  • how every shakily drawn picture is a present for someone.
  • how fascinating it is that noodles are made out of dough, even though they don't have crust.
  • how much fun every new thing is, even the things I've taken for granted my entire life.
  • how cool it is to learn to do something, like buckle oneself into the van.
  • how scary the nights can be when the stars on the sheets look like bugs in the dark.
  • how comforting it is for a little girl to be wrapped in my arms.
  • how amazing it is that my arms provide that comfort, even in the middle of the night when all those bugs sent her flying from her bed.
  • how my "baby" smiles like he's conquered the world when he gets a pair of winter boots on by himself.
  • how he thinks that boots, a diaper and a tuque are proper outdoor attire.
  • how my big boy tells me he loves me throughout the day.
  • how he reminds me that I'm his best friend in the universe.
  • how my big girl uses my exact words when bossing around her brothers (or daddy).
  • how they look when they've finally stopped running and jumping and laughing and are fast asleep in their beds.
  • how writing this stuff makes me seriously teary.
Sometimes I envy the freedom that others have, but I don't envy life without my kids. Crazy as they may be.

Comments

Sonya said…
Awww...cute post. So true.
January 18, 2010 at 12:02 AM
Q&L said…
yep very cute...I'm ok without the freedom too.
January 18, 2010 at 7:58 AM
Ange said…
Life with all that freedom seems so long ago. I can't even imagine life without my kids. They're my life, and I love it! As tired and frustrated as I get sometimes, I look at those smiling faces or get a big hug and I know that it's all worth it! Kids are such a blessing!
January 18, 2010 at 9:38 AM
Lora said…
I've been going thru something very similar lately. I have a very tiny post drafted about it, but it's sort of personal in a way and I don't know if I want to push publish.

Thank you for this
January 20, 2010 at 10:45 AM
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