steven says what?
Setting: Basement (you just know this is gonna be scary), computer room. Steven impatiently waiting for his turn on the computer, Tiffany knowing there's not much he can do about it.
S: [over by the closet, looking at something] Wow.
T: What?
S: Nothing. You don't want to see.
T: [somewhat annoyed tone] Oh no, now you better tell me. I know it's a spider.
S: Actually, two. One's in the web, the other one is standing here and staring at it. I think it's in an attack stance.
T: KILL THEM!
S: No, they'll eat the mosquitoes that are down here.
Aside: Any man who uses this kind of logic after telling me that there are two jumbo attack spiders taking up residence in my computer room is gonna hit the floor hard.
More aside: He had better be more afraid of me than the mosquitoes at this point.
T: If you ever want to sleep in my bed again EVER you will kill those spiders. [i think i may have borderline yelled this. not like a girl, but like an angry, threatening woman who means it]. I'm not kidding!
S: Alright let me find something. [rummaging around. comes out with a pink barbie boot. don't tell jordan]. Oops, I think I missed. I need a different boot. [more rummaging, new footwear]. Oh, I think it ran into the closet. [again, rummaging. see, it's good when they're more afraid of me than the spider or mosquitoes]. There, I got it.
I don't know if he got it really, or if he just said that so he wouldn't have to face some dire consequences. I'm not entirely sure if a spider would just hang out and drink a fly smoothie while waiting for Steven to get a more adequate shoe for spider squishing.
And what's with the mosquito thing? There are rarely any mosquitoes in this house, and never in the basement. How ridiculous. What's with men thinking that by letting a spider live they're going to have a significant impact on the mosquito population? Last fall there was a dinner-plate-sized spider dangling on the outside of the window. I could tell by its beady little eyes that it was looking for a way into my house to lay its eggs all over. Steven however, was all impressed by the sheer size of this thing and refused to kill it. I had to take matters into my own hands. It's remains are still immortalized on the outside of my window [note to self: clean windows].
S: [over by the closet, looking at something] Wow.
T: What?
S: Nothing. You don't want to see.
T: [somewhat annoyed tone] Oh no, now you better tell me. I know it's a spider.
S: Actually, two. One's in the web, the other one is standing here and staring at it. I think it's in an attack stance.
T: KILL THEM!
S: No, they'll eat the mosquitoes that are down here.
Aside: Any man who uses this kind of logic after telling me that there are two jumbo attack spiders taking up residence in my computer room is gonna hit the floor hard.
More aside: He had better be more afraid of me than the mosquitoes at this point.
T: If you ever want to sleep in my bed again EVER you will kill those spiders. [i think i may have borderline yelled this. not like a girl, but like an angry, threatening woman who means it]. I'm not kidding!
S: Alright let me find something. [rummaging around. comes out with a pink barbie boot. don't tell jordan]. Oops, I think I missed. I need a different boot. [more rummaging, new footwear]. Oh, I think it ran into the closet. [again, rummaging. see, it's good when they're more afraid of me than the spider or mosquitoes]. There, I got it.
I don't know if he got it really, or if he just said that so he wouldn't have to face some dire consequences. I'm not entirely sure if a spider would just hang out and drink a fly smoothie while waiting for Steven to get a more adequate shoe for spider squishing.
And what's with the mosquito thing? There are rarely any mosquitoes in this house, and never in the basement. How ridiculous. What's with men thinking that by letting a spider live they're going to have a significant impact on the mosquito population? Last fall there was a dinner-plate-sized spider dangling on the outside of the window. I could tell by its beady little eyes that it was looking for a way into my house to lay its eggs all over. Steven however, was all impressed by the sheer size of this thing and refused to kill it. I had to take matters into my own hands. It's remains are still immortalized on the outside of my window [note to self: clean windows].
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