marrying jezebel
I read a lot. Well, at times I read a lot. As a pre-teen/teenager I devoured books, I'd read books a week. Now as a mother of three young kids I read when I can. The library loves me, my late fees alone keeps the library afloat I'm sure.
I got on kicks when I read. I'll find a book I really enjoy and then my next six library books will all be by that same author. But really, I'm all over the map. Lately I've read a couple of spy books, lots by Tim Dorsey, a few very comical women-authored books, and my last one was "Scarlett," the sequel to "Gone With the Wind." did you know there was a sequel? Me neither. Did you know that people write sequels to the books of others? Ditto. Talk about being original. All in all, not bad. On page 998 of 1000 she gets Rhett back, all while the Fenians are trying to burn their 4-year-old changeling daughter to death, but I digress.
The book I'm reading now is a romance called "Marrying Jezebel." It is hilarious! I don' t think it's meant to be. According to the cover, the book promises to bring "a heap of fire and sensuality to sizzle your senses." Yeah, maybe if it wasn't so darned funny - or predictable!
The book starts with Rafe Sunderland, Duke of Ravenhurst, drinking in his study with a friend. It's the middle of the night so he is curious and annoyed (odd combo) when there is a knock at his door. It's his lawyer, come to inform him that a little-known acquaintance of his has died and left him guardian of his niece. Betcha can't tell where this is going.
I've read books before where two people are put in the ward/guardian relationship situation. It's a favorite of some of these genre writers. It's supposed to get women feeling all warm and fuzzy at the prospect of being "protected"(aka - controlled) by probably the most attractive, tall, broad-shouldered guy on earth. Or, it's just really funny.
Of course Rafe is unimpressed at the thought of being stuck with "the little chit" (it's always this word in these situations in these books) until she's 25 (she's 20 now) or he can marry her off onto some unsuspecting bachelor. Rafe is sure she's "some schoolroom chit, all aflutter about her first trip to London . . . hideous and completely dowdy . . . [and] a total ninny as well." Uh huh. He tries to pawn her off on a relative, but turns out she hasn't got any.
Poor Rafe, about to be stuck with this young ugly who will definitely ruin "the season" for him. Seems he likes to fool around with more experienced women. Young virgins hold no appeal. Betcha still can't see where this is going. Suddenly - a problem. She doesn't get off the ship she was supposed to sail in on from Egypt where she was an archaeologist with her now-deceased uncle. Does it occur to him that she's a somewhat feminist, headstrong woman who doesn't need a protector? Noooo - poor miss young-ugly-and-virginal must be in trouble.
This is the part where Rafe the Magnificent Specimen of a Man boats off to Egypt to uphold his duty and rescue the burden that has been bestowed on him.
We'll skip a bunch of stuff - like the pages upon pages where they're going on about how the other is the most beautiful creature they've ever laid eyes upon, and how they excite and infuriate each other, and how they're each horribly aroused by the other but convinced that the other hates them. Thus, they're both angry and acting like they don't care for each other at all, but, gasp!, they do. You all recognize the set-up. Plot's always the same, names and settings differ slightly.
A few "laugh-out-loud" moments?
Anyway, Rafe has agreed to hang out in Egypt just for a few weeks with her to give her the opportunity to prove she doesn't need him. She's planning on running away, or faking her death so he'll bug off. Of course he said something stupid after they made love so now she thinks he doesn't like her again. Figures. He knows about her plan to fake her death, and he's disgusted. That's as far as I got. I'll keep you posted.
. . . drowning sailor . . . lol
I got on kicks when I read. I'll find a book I really enjoy and then my next six library books will all be by that same author. But really, I'm all over the map. Lately I've read a couple of spy books, lots by Tim Dorsey, a few very comical women-authored books, and my last one was "Scarlett," the sequel to "Gone With the Wind." did you know there was a sequel? Me neither. Did you know that people write sequels to the books of others? Ditto. Talk about being original. All in all, not bad. On page 998 of 1000 she gets Rhett back, all while the Fenians are trying to burn their 4-year-old changeling daughter to death, but I digress.
The book I'm reading now is a romance called "Marrying Jezebel." It is hilarious! I don' t think it's meant to be. According to the cover, the book promises to bring "a heap of fire and sensuality to sizzle your senses." Yeah, maybe if it wasn't so darned funny - or predictable!
The book starts with Rafe Sunderland, Duke of Ravenhurst, drinking in his study with a friend. It's the middle of the night so he is curious and annoyed (odd combo) when there is a knock at his door. It's his lawyer, come to inform him that a little-known acquaintance of his has died and left him guardian of his niece. Betcha can't tell where this is going.
I've read books before where two people are put in the ward/guardian relationship situation. It's a favorite of some of these genre writers. It's supposed to get women feeling all warm and fuzzy at the prospect of being "protected"(aka - controlled) by probably the most attractive, tall, broad-shouldered guy on earth. Or, it's just really funny.
Of course Rafe is unimpressed at the thought of being stuck with "the little chit" (it's always this word in these situations in these books) until she's 25 (she's 20 now) or he can marry her off onto some unsuspecting bachelor. Rafe is sure she's "some schoolroom chit, all aflutter about her first trip to London . . . hideous and completely dowdy . . . [and] a total ninny as well." Uh huh. He tries to pawn her off on a relative, but turns out she hasn't got any.
Poor Rafe, about to be stuck with this young ugly who will definitely ruin "the season" for him. Seems he likes to fool around with more experienced women. Young virgins hold no appeal. Betcha still can't see where this is going. Suddenly - a problem. She doesn't get off the ship she was supposed to sail in on from Egypt where she was an archaeologist with her now-deceased uncle. Does it occur to him that she's a somewhat feminist, headstrong woman who doesn't need a protector? Noooo - poor miss young-ugly-and-virginal must be in trouble.
This is the part where Rafe the Magnificent Specimen of a Man boats off to Egypt to uphold his duty and rescue the burden that has been bestowed on him.
We'll skip a bunch of stuff - like the pages upon pages where they're going on about how the other is the most beautiful creature they've ever laid eyes upon, and how they excite and infuriate each other, and how they're each horribly aroused by the other but convinced that the other hates them. Thus, they're both angry and acting like they don't care for each other at all, but, gasp!, they do. You all recognize the set-up. Plot's always the same, names and settings differ slightly.
A few "laugh-out-loud" moments?
- "His aquamarine eyes raked her up and down appraisingly." Doesn't anyone just say blue anymore? She uses this word a LOT when talking about his eyes. And maybe when you're someone's stand-in step-father you shouldn't be raking her anywhere with anything.
- "His waist and hips had the leanness of a marathon runner, and his backside . . . Without volition, she found herself craning her neck just a little, wishing he'd turn around so she could get a better view, for it looked to be quite stunning." Okay, this actually made me laugh out loud. Maybe even snort, if I did that sort of thing. This stranger has approached her at her table, looking like he's going to kill her, and she spends the next 49 paragraphs talking about his aquamarine eyes and knowing instinctively that he's got a nice ass. As if!
- But the best - absolutely best part so far . . . Okay, going to admit there's sex in this book. You knew it was coming. This description is the most hilarious sex description I've ever read in one of these books. I ear-marked the page so that I could read it to Steven when he got home from work last night, but I was laughing so hard it took me a few tries. Here goes "She was tossed, thrashing and writhing, from one level of passion to the next, like a drowning sailor without anything solid to cling to." Some days I am my own biggest amusement.
Anyway, Rafe has agreed to hang out in Egypt just for a few weeks with her to give her the opportunity to prove she doesn't need him. She's planning on running away, or faking her death so he'll bug off. Of course he said something stupid after they made love so now she thinks he doesn't like her again. Figures. He knows about her plan to fake her death, and he's disgusted. That's as far as I got. I'll keep you posted.
. . . drowning sailor . . . lol
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