venting from the funny farm

Today was one of those days where it honestly felt that the kids were conspiring to drive me insane. I think they may have been successful. If they weren't the actual cause of my insanity then they at least succeeded to make it worse.


1. Why on Earth does a six year old care so much about her clothes? And how does she know what constitutes as an ugly pair of jeans? There are so many things she wants to wear that make my skin crawl with desire to rip the offending articles off her and burn them in the back yard. A perfectly normal pair of blue jeans? Not so much. And why must she whine and snivel like a crazy person when I brush her hair? I start at the bottom and gently work my way up. Each time there's the tiniest snag she freaks. I've seen her brush her own hair, she is no gentler. I know, I should just let her do it, and I normally do, but tonight I wanted to pull her hair back for her so she could go to her church function and run around and play games. Oh yes, she can make her own ponies, but they're a little scary and she doesn't get the front of her hair in.

2. How to I convey to a four year old that certain things he does are far more irritating than entertaining? At the top of the list: copying me and then laughing maniacally each time he says something; laying on the floor at the entrance of diaper gym at my feet and doing this weird, awful, fake laugh thing; continuing to do it even though I tell him repeatedly to stop and the vein in my forehead is reaching critical levels; doing the big exaggerated, drawn out cry anytime I tell him no - from "no you cannot play nintendo now," to "no I don't need your help in the kitchen at this exact moment." That last one isn't meant to be entertaining, it's meant to somehow convey that I've ruined this moment of his life, yet again.

3. How on earth do I count to ten and not get mad when a child needs to be told repeatedly to get dressed in the morning? And why do I eventually have to holler at him to stop loving his blanket and get the hell out of bed already? The same child quietly dawdles around the entrance way at playgroup until everyone else is as good as ready and when I finally snap at him (for the fourteenth time) to get his boots on he grins at me (as if that helps) and hovers his toe near the top of his boot without actually putting it on. Or he says "I can't" in the whiniest voice he can muster. Or he lays on the floor and pushes his boots around with his feet. This same child played the 'cute card' every time I tried to get him to do something (ie - stop pushing that chair around, get off the stage, pick up a cotton-picking block and put it in the box already) and insisted that I snapped at him half a dozen times before finally storming over and disciplining him.

4. Don't get me started on the toddler who loves to clean things with cloths she finds and uses the handiest available water source to wet (and not wring out) her cloth. Let's not mention that people like to pee in this water source and not flush it.

It was just one of those days. They were squirrelly and rangy and I'll be beyond happy to kiss them goodnight and tuck them in soon.


Neodad said…
Um, no, yup, yup and, um, yup. Don't have a little girl, so I don't have to deal with the hair thing. But as for the rest, it seems like you had my kids for a day. Amazing how so much of this seems to be universal.

Popular posts from this blog

happy new year

christmas letter in september, but only because it's been so damn long

happy friday