hello from portage

I've now been living in Portage for a month! It's funny how badly I wanted to move here, and now that I'm here I'm really torn. I miss my home in Winnipeg. Steven and I were so excited when we bought it, and finally were able to move our little daughter into a room of her own. We picked out colors, had our floors done, changed light fixtures, and much more. We were even there for the entire pregnancy with Tennyson, and he was born in that house! After a year of being there it really really felt like home. This place doesn't yet. I don't even know why really.

It's funny how we change over time. The biggest change in me is how my wants have changed regarding working and family. I was so excited to get my degree and become a teacher, to make a difference, and "be somebody," if that makes any sense. I have always said that women should work and contribute financially to the home so they wouldn't have to ask for money or feel subservient to their husbands. Now I spend long days at home with my kids and they frustrate me and drive me crazy sometimes, and yet I love them so much. I'd do anything for them. I'd love to scrap all this career stuff and just be here with them. Tennyson is really starting to develop a little personality, and all I have to do is look at him and smile and he grins from ear to ear. Jordan is my little wild child, and she knows how to push my buttons. She's so stubborn and willful, and when she wants something she'll stop at nothing to have it. She jumps on my furniture, and pulls apart my cupboards, and today she squirted me with Tilex. She's been pooping her pants lately, which is really fun to clean up. But oh how I love her, I love everything about her. I love how she hugs and kisses me at any time during the day, and how she flops herself down on the couch when being chased and her curls flop all over and her eyes dance with mischief and her little teeth peek out when she's smiling so big. I love how when I cry she hugs me and says "It's okay Mummy, it's alright." I love when Steven comes home and she races to the door and throws herself around his legs and makes our family so complete. Our home is so brimming with love and hope and happiness, even when I'm being squirted with Tilex and cleaning poo out of little panties. I can't wait to see what she's like at 3 and 4, and what kind of little boy Tennyson will be at 2. I like staying home and getting ready to see Steven and looking after my kids, and being the glue that keeps this all together. I love feeling loved, and needed, and wanted by my husband and my babies.

It's funny, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, and now I'm laughing because I can hear Jordan (who's supposed to be napping) singing "I know you" from her Sleeping Beauty movie. This stuff never stops. And maybe I'm selfish, and I don't want to share these kid days with babysitters. I want this for myself, everyone else can go have their own kids! lol.

Comments

Q&L said…
There's no job worth enough money that would near their invaluable love. They're adorable.
September 7, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Q&L said…
and yes, you did make me cry. good job.
September 7, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Sonya said…
Yay! A new post! I totally, 100%, understand this post! Kids sure can change a person's perspective hey?
September 8, 2007 at 10:36 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MIA

Image
No, my secret alias is not Mia. MIA = missing in action. I have been avoiding posting on here. Why? Because I don't have a ton of stuff to write about. Also, I've discovered that my blog is being followed by a couple of people I'm not related to. Although I'm super excited about it, I'm also a little intimidated! Sounds silly, I know. Hear me out. You know how you can be a teenager (I'm not a teenager, we're just being hypothetical) and have big thick coke bottle glasses, zits all over your face, big baggy pants and a baggy sweatshirt hiding the rolls hidden underneath and a perm that went very very wrong and is now only curly on ONE SIDE and your mom still tells you you're beautiful and she'd love to trade faces with you? You know how that feels? You don't have to question it too much, because she's your mom and you know she's probably a little biased. Blogging is a little like that. Until now, only my friends have read my blog. I coul...
Read more

christmas time's a coming

Only 23 days until Christmas! Remember when we were kids, and Christmas was all about time off school, lots of treats (chocolate, candy canes, oranges, turtles!), new Christmas dresses for the church concert, lights, music, decorations, noisy and exciting gatherings at Grandma's house, Christmas episodes of our favorite tv shows and of course presents! The list goes on and on. I still find Christmas exciting. Yet, now the season holds more than just the "fun" stuff. Now we have to worry about scheduling in all the different families and parents, buying gifts we can't necessarily afford, making dishes to bring to the different gatherings, hoping that people will understand that we need to share the holidays with many others, and hoping that nobody will be hurt if our time with them is short. I wonder if I'm doing a good job of making the holidays fun and enjoyable for my kids, and if I've bought the right gifts. I worry about what five days in a row of late ni...
Read more

the snowsuit

Image
I really must go back and tell you about . . . duhn duhn duh . . . the snowsuit . I've most certainly kept you in suspense far too long. Remember last winter when there was no snow, but it was still cold enough to freeze puddles and require kids to wear winter clothing? Good, we're caught up. Jordan is really hard on outerwear. Last year she destroyed a pair of skates, lost various mitts and tuques, shredded her first pair of winter boots and left her snowsuit looking like swiss cheese. The boots and snowsuit were done before Christmas. I made her wear the snowsuit for the rest of winter anyway and the boots I replaced after Christmas. It's amazing that a six year old child can ruin a rather expensive snowsuit in a few short months. I blame mother nature. Mother nature thought it would be funny to make it cold and icy out without actually giving us snow. Of course children want to run and drop to their knees or tummy on frozen puddles and slide to the other side. Of ...
Read more