i did not do so many things this week

I really didn't. I would never do things that would make people shake their heads, or smirk, or any of that other stuff. People shouldn't anyway, because that would be unkind, especially since I don't mock people.

For instance:

Let's just get ingress out of the way, since Steven thinks it's incredibly nerdy and I'd hate to give him more ammo to make fun of it all:

• I did not relentlessly heckle complete strangers from opposing factions (in communications, not in person) when they came through town just before the weekend, and destroyed only two of my portals. That wouldn't be good sportsmanship.
• I also did not avoid having a Thanksgiving drink all weekend with my husband, just in case the bad guys came back through at the end of the weekend (okay, I'll admit, I had serious suspicions. Probably because he said "see you soon....")
• I also did not ditch Steven with dinner prep at 4:30 tonight when, after following the communications log all day, I realized that the arrival of the "enlightened" (as if they're truly enlightened, that's just ridiculous) was mere moments away. 
• And I most certainly did not have to eat all my words when apparently, the bad guys knew the rules better than I did and they totally won the battle. Certainly, none of my words would have sounded anything like "Is that all you've got?" Dang it. I mean . . . not dang it at all. It didn't happen. 
• And to top it off, I certainly, absolutely did not call out on the online ingress Winnipeg resistance message boards for help ahead of time when I realized that if someone there would just kill one portal it would keep these guys from making a giant green, disgusting field right over top of Portage. Because that would be too nerdy, even for me. I didn't do that at all. Especially, since it didn't work, and the giant field maybe kind of happened.

Done.

Other things that did not happen:

• When I kindly offered to wash Jordan's hair, she did not say "But you make it hurt!" and even if she had, I certainly wouldn't have replied with "Noooo, I make it clean." I am so much more maternal than that. 
• I did not groan and maybe make Jordan sad with my grumpiness when, instead of just throwing up into her blanket on Saturday, she projected it all over the floor and carpet. Again, what's scrubbing puke out of a carpet, but a normal nurturing motherly duty? I certainly wasn't grumpy about it, or yell things like "Not on the floor! Not on the floor!" as it was happening. Oh no, not me!
• I did not make Steven make "that face" at me, and then take a picture of it and use it as my iPhone's wallpaper. No way would I delight in making him make that face at me. All the time. 

Ooh, look at his feigned grumpiness...

Re: Thanksgiving dinner:

• I totally made a giant turkey, I would never just buy a package of chicken legs and bake them with BBQ sauce, oh no, not at all.
• I did not forgo cutting up and making fresh vegetables, and instead just a crack a few cans of cream corn and pop them into the microwave. 
• I did not make Stovetop, boxed stuffing. Mine was totally slaved over!
• I did not just pick up some buns at Pankos the other day instead of making my famous (ha, non-existent) homemade buns. That would be totally unlike me. 
• I also, seriously did not just read books and do other things while Steven spent hours making homemade everything (pumpkin, crust, etc. etc.) into a pumpkin pie. I would totally help with all that, not just show up at the end and eat it!

Again:

I kind of really love this guy.