the boy that never was
The only downside about knowing that I was going to have a girl the last time that I was pregnant was not preparing for a boy too.
I know it sounds silly, but generally we have names picked out for either a boy or a girl. We have little clothes ready for a boy or a girl. This last time? It was all about Elliot. We didn't even bother picking out a boy's name just in case.
I kind of feel like the little Boy That Could Have Been got ripped off a little. Poor little would-be guy.
Steven and I always had a harder time picking out boy names than girl. Somehow we agreed on Tennyson. Odd, because it's kind of a different name. It amazes me that we both liked it. We argue a little over who thought it up first. I kind of let him think he did.
Near the end of my 3rd pregnancy, I finally got fed up and told Steven that I really liked Mitchell, and since he didn't hate it we were going to use it unless he came up with something we liked better. It's not that he didn't like the name Mitchell. He didn't want to use it because once upon a time he knew somebody named Mitchell. I'm guessing this Mitchell he knew wasn't in a rock band that he followed as a teenager.
Steven's an awful person to pick names with. I'm glad we won't have to pick names anymore. I would suggest a name or two that I really liked. He would say no. He wouldn't suggest anything on his own. Over the course of nine months I'd exhaust names that I really loved and start suggesting names that I liked, but maybe didn't love. He'd still say no. Then I'd just suggest anything that wasn't stupid just so we had something on the table. Then he'd accuse me of just coming up with just anything and not putting any thought into it at all. He still wouldn't suggest anything.
Imagine my joy. Imagine me imagining myself strangling him just a little.
Imagine me having this secret fantasy where I'd go to the hospital myself to have the baby so that I could name it whatever I wanted, sign the documents, and then phone him to tell him that I'd had the baby and it was done.
At least we wouldn't have needed a babysitter for the other kids.
If Elliot had been a boy I think I'd have fought to use the name Elliot anyway. Steven does not like it on a boy. He thinks it's not manly enough.
In the months following the birth of our daughter, I told him that Elliot would have been my boy name too. He still said no.
Seriously. Because he's like that.
Apparently he would have accepted either Darwin or Keaton. I wasn't thrilled about either of those, but I'd have probably talked him into using one or the other as a middle name, after Elliot. As if a guy could say no to his wife just minutes past delivery. I haven't actually watched anyone give birth, but he figures it's pretty traumatic. For him. Apparently it's hard on him to watch me suffer. I bet I could have named the baby whatever I wanted.
I bet your heart's going out to him right now at the suffering he endured as I laboured.
You know what boy name I always liked? Everett. I tried to bully it onto the list of boy names for baby 2, 3 and 4. Steven said no.
The other day I read a book. One of the characters in it was named Sullivan. I really like that. Really really. Maybe I should get a dog or something just so I can use that name.
Because these gates are closed.
I know it sounds silly, but generally we have names picked out for either a boy or a girl. We have little clothes ready for a boy or a girl. This last time? It was all about Elliot. We didn't even bother picking out a boy's name just in case.
I kind of feel like the little Boy That Could Have Been got ripped off a little. Poor little would-be guy.
Steven and I always had a harder time picking out boy names than girl. Somehow we agreed on Tennyson. Odd, because it's kind of a different name. It amazes me that we both liked it. We argue a little over who thought it up first. I kind of let him think he did.
Near the end of my 3rd pregnancy, I finally got fed up and told Steven that I really liked Mitchell, and since he didn't hate it we were going to use it unless he came up with something we liked better. It's not that he didn't like the name Mitchell. He didn't want to use it because once upon a time he knew somebody named Mitchell. I'm guessing this Mitchell he knew wasn't in a rock band that he followed as a teenager.
Steven's an awful person to pick names with. I'm glad we won't have to pick names anymore. I would suggest a name or two that I really liked. He would say no. He wouldn't suggest anything on his own. Over the course of nine months I'd exhaust names that I really loved and start suggesting names that I liked, but maybe didn't love. He'd still say no. Then I'd just suggest anything that wasn't stupid just so we had something on the table. Then he'd accuse me of just coming up with just anything and not putting any thought into it at all. He still wouldn't suggest anything.
Imagine my joy. Imagine me imagining myself strangling him just a little.
Imagine me having this secret fantasy where I'd go to the hospital myself to have the baby so that I could name it whatever I wanted, sign the documents, and then phone him to tell him that I'd had the baby and it was done.
At least we wouldn't have needed a babysitter for the other kids.
If Elliot had been a boy I think I'd have fought to use the name Elliot anyway. Steven does not like it on a boy. He thinks it's not manly enough.
In the months following the birth of our daughter, I told him that Elliot would have been my boy name too. He still said no.
Seriously. Because he's like that.
Apparently he would have accepted either Darwin or Keaton. I wasn't thrilled about either of those, but I'd have probably talked him into using one or the other as a middle name, after Elliot. As if a guy could say no to his wife just minutes past delivery. I haven't actually watched anyone give birth, but he figures it's pretty traumatic. For him. Apparently it's hard on him to watch me suffer. I bet I could have named the baby whatever I wanted.
I bet your heart's going out to him right now at the suffering he endured as I laboured.
You know what boy name I always liked? Everett. I tried to bully it onto the list of boy names for baby 2, 3 and 4. Steven said no.
The other day I read a book. One of the characters in it was named Sullivan. I really like that. Really really. Maybe I should get a dog or something just so I can use that name.
Because these gates are closed.
Comments
There should be a rule: unless you are the one with a baby pushing his way out of your vagina, you don't get to name the baby. The END.
That little boy will probably haunt you for awhile, but you'll be so busy with the other four that he will probably just fade away. That is, until you least expect it.
Boys have a funny way of doing that sometimes.