there are worse things than ebola

For the first time in years my kids' immunizations are up to date. I'm seriously considering nominating myself for mother of the year.

Elliot had her 4 month needle this morning. She only cried until I picked her up. She loves her mommy and gets over her owies quickly. I know what you're thinking; she's only 4 months old, what does she know about owies? I don't know if you've met my family. Love hurts sometimes, especially when you're four months old and can't either run away or shove people off you.

My four month old is more than 17 pounds. I sure know how to feed them.

Mitchie had his 18 month needle this morning. I'm a little forgetful sometimes. I know he's 27 months old, but in my defense, he had his 6 month needle somewhere around his first birthday, and the nurse told me he had to wait a year between the 6 month and the 18 month needles. I cannot be expected to remember something like that for a whole year. Not going to happen. I'm just impressed that I'm only three months past my one year wait. Go me.

Would you think that I was a bad mother for taking two of my kids to the doctor for immunizations and then being only worried about myself?

Two weeks ago, a couple of people I spend time with told me that their families had the stomach flu. I'm sure I mentioned it. I'm sure it even had a post of its own. The stomach flu gets a lot of press around here.

Days after my friend's family started fluing (that's not a real word, but it's prettier than the alternative), Jordan felt sick for an afternoon. The other kids had diarrhea. My stomach started to feel nauseous. Jordan got better, the diarrhea cleared up. Nobody ended up with full-on flu symptoms. My nauseousness lingered. And lingered. And lingered.

As mothers we ignore stuff because we have so many things running through our heads, and if I'm not curled around a toilet, losing the contents of my stomach I can pretty much ignore anything. Besides, a snack or meal made it lessen. Weird eh?

Except that a few days ago it occurred to me that I was still nauseous, and that I had been having snacks to get rid of the nauseousness. Certain foods made it worse, others made it better. A friend of mine was talking about her pregnancy symptoms, and I realised that my symptoms were on par with how I felt when I was pregnant with Elliot.

Anytime I thought I was pregnant in the past, even if I wasn't trying to get pregnant, I was secretly a little excited at the thought of a brand new, sweet little life.

Now? Not so much.

Today I took the kids to the doctor. I asked for a cup to pee in before I even made it out of the reception area. I peed in the cup and brought it to the nurse, with a heavy heart.

Steven had a vasectomy a couple of weeks before I gave birth. Sometimes vasectomies fail.
We used protection every time we got "cuddly" before he was tested a few months later. Sometimes protection fails.
I'm exclusively breastfeeding these days. Sometimes breastfeeding mothers still get pregnant.

What are the odds that everything would fail simultaneously?

The nurse put the test strip into the cup and set it aside while she weighed and measured my kids.

She checked the cup. She announced it was negative. I could have hugged her. She figured there must be another reason why I wasn't feeling that well. I told her that I'd rather have ebola.

She has no sense of humor. It's baffling.

The doctor came in later. We talked. He's going to check my iron. I've been low in iron before, so it's not a surprise. I thought of trying my ebola line on him too, but I didn't want to waste any more material today.

Comments

Q&L said…
you know what I look forward to? When your kids start using their sense of humour they got from you, on you. Oh, can't wait for those stories...hehehe. I hope it's not ebola. Eat some iron, seriously!! :)
Tiffany said…
Oddly enough, my kids know when I'm kidding, even if others don't! That's the neat thing about your own offspring, they actually get you (probably because they're turning into you).

You're right.

And he told me not to take any iron or vitamins until after the blood work.
He gave me a prescription for pills to take when I'm feeling icky, but seriously I don't think I want to. It's nothing I can't deal with. With chips.
Naomi said…
pregnancy was the first thing that came to my mind while reading this, followed by "holy crap Tif!" I'm glad to hear you are not pregnant, for you sake of course! Keep eating chips, you'll be ok :) and I would have laughed at your ebola joke
Tiffany said…
I know! That was some good stuff!
Jen said…
Most people don't know when I'm joking either. I tell them to just always assume I'm kidding. Unless I am not.
Lora said…
I'm sorry you're feeling pregnant. That's the pits.

Also, good job with Elliot! Your milk holds super powers, clearly! Jake weighed 18.5 lbs at his one year. I felt like such a failure, but his length was really up there in the percentiles so the doctors only threatened to call social services once (I wish I was kidding!).
Ange said…
Are you still feeling icky?

I started feeling icky before my kids got the flu, felt icky all through the flue and after. I think it was a week and a half then i started to feel better.

I hope you feel better soon. "feeling pregnant" sucks!
Tiffany said…
Still icky off and on. The doc prescribed "something" for me to take when I feel gross, but I seriously don't want to. He said it's safe, people can take it when they're pregnant, so it should be fine for breastfeeding, but I figure that unless it's debilitating I really don't want to put unnecessary drugs into my system.

It'll be ducky.

As long as I'm not pregnant, I can deal.

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