things my angelic children definitely did NOT do this weekend
My kids are perfect. I had a fabulous weekend. Reeaallyy.
They certainly did not drive me to tears.
They did not dump out an entire can of ice tea powder onto the kitchen carpet. Good thing too, even though I certainly do not buy the biggest cans they make.
They did not advantageously eat a bunch of sugar out of the sugar bowl and pour tea into it and pour exorbitant amounts of sugar into the tea pot. I know this, because my husband would not promise me that if I fed the baby he'd clear the table and then not put away the tea and sugar.
They did not sneak cups of water into the basement and then accidentally spill them. Of course not, because they know they're not allowed to take food and drinks down there.
They did not take all afternoon to clean their toys up in the basement, eventually needing "Angry Dad" to come and hover over them before they got the job done.
They did not try to hang off the cross beams in the basement ceiling, causing the beams and a bunch of tiles to pull down off the ceiling. Not my kids.
They did not climb the back yard gate, open the latch and free the 24 month old into the front yard. They know better for sure.
My oldest son certainly did not let himself out of the fence a second time in an attempt to follow his mommy after she left the house. And he certainly did not make it to a major street before his mommy (a couple of streets ahead) looked back and realized that the crying child she heard was hers, causing her to frantically yell at him to stop running towards her while running back herself, desperately willing him not to step out into traffic.
Nope. Not my kids.
They certainly did not drive me to tears.
They did not dump out an entire can of ice tea powder onto the kitchen carpet. Good thing too, even though I certainly do not buy the biggest cans they make.
They did not advantageously eat a bunch of sugar out of the sugar bowl and pour tea into it and pour exorbitant amounts of sugar into the tea pot. I know this, because my husband would not promise me that if I fed the baby he'd clear the table and then not put away the tea and sugar.
They did not sneak cups of water into the basement and then accidentally spill them. Of course not, because they know they're not allowed to take food and drinks down there.
They did not take all afternoon to clean their toys up in the basement, eventually needing "Angry Dad" to come and hover over them before they got the job done.
They did not try to hang off the cross beams in the basement ceiling, causing the beams and a bunch of tiles to pull down off the ceiling. Not my kids.
They did not climb the back yard gate, open the latch and free the 24 month old into the front yard. They know better for sure.
My oldest son certainly did not let himself out of the fence a second time in an attempt to follow his mommy after she left the house. And he certainly did not make it to a major street before his mommy (a couple of streets ahead) looked back and realized that the crying child she heard was hers, causing her to frantically yell at him to stop running towards her while running back herself, desperately willing him not to step out into traffic.
Nope. Not my kids.
Comments
I guess you don't want to hear that my inlaws had Jake all weekend. But if it makes you feel better, I got a kidney infection.