sing the song about the little girl and the honey Mommy, please?

Sometimes I feel like the world's worst mom. I just left Jordan crying in her room. Why? It's so silly. I took her back to her own room after reading them stories in the boys' room. She wanted a song. I said "sure, pick a song." She wanted me to sing the song about the mom and the little girl who didn't want anyone to take her honey. Apparently, this is something I've sung before. I have no recollection of this. I think she sometimes makes these things up. Actually, Steven has been known to make up these long winded songs, and then go to work the next couple of nights and leave the kids begging me to sing the song about the princess and the castle and the dragon and the pumpkin chariot. I had no idea they were made up. I'd tell the kids that I didn't know the song, and they'd just be over-the-top frustrated because they knew the song existed, and they know that Mommy magically knows everything and for whatever reason I was refusing to sing the song. Then one night I asked Steven about a certain song. He told me he sang it on the fly. Doesn't help me much. Then I'd tell the kids to ask Daddy to sing the song about the penguin who flew to the princesses tower to eat the bad prince who slayed the heroic dragon when all he ever did was pick her flowers and sing her sonnets. I tried to make it complicated. It made it really fun to watch him muddle through it.

Tonight I didn't have it in me to make up a song. I'm not even sure if it's a made up song. She knows little songs from everywhere - Nursery School, Literacy Program, Treehouse, etc. She doesn't always remember how they go. But I'm supposed to know.

I begged her to pick a different song. I'm a little grumpy, she's a little grumpy, I'm freakin tired - and all I wanted was to sing a little song with my little sleepy blond girl and give her a big kiss and a hug (aside: wanna know what's really cute? when she tells me to turn my head so she can kiss my cheek. she's sweet, usually). She refused to choose something else. I gave her some options. She finally chose something entirely different. I sang it. Then I left her room and gave Mitchell back his blanket. Seems somebody took it and threw it out into the hallway. Then I could hear her crying.

Sometimes, by the end of the day I get so frustrated by the drama. I know I should have gone back in and given her another hug, but instead I'm down here. I'm having a breather. I know that when she's laying in her bed and kicking her feet and begging me in her baby voice for just one more song (that doesn't exist in my world) that she just wants a little bit more from me. Some nights that "little bit more" is so elusive.

Now I'm just making myself more sad. Okay, going back to snuggle the baby girl, just for a few more minutes.

Comments

Q&L said…
way to go Mama! snuggles are something you certainly won't look back and regret.
May 28, 2010 at 3:45 PM
Tiffany said…
Nope. Because someday she won't want to the same way, and I'll miss it!
May 29, 2010 at 8:51 PM
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