the old grey mare - in about 20 years anyway
Did you see my ticker? Less than two months! I've been waiting for the seven month mark, and now that it's here all I can think of is how badly I want it to be June.
Because I'm having the baby in June. I'm thinking of telling the Doc to make a note of it in his file.
I had this great post in my head this morning as I walked. It was humorous, well-written, entertaining, etc. Honest. Do you ever do that? Have a post all worked out in your head along with all these little interesting asides only to sit at the computer a few hours later and although you remember what the post was about, the quirky voice with which you were going to write it is gone? Happens to me all the time. I honestly think I had more to say when I had a job. Not that chasing these little gaffers around all day isn't a job.
Okay, it's not really chasing. If your house is somewhat baby/kid-proofed and your kids are somewhat trained to not beg for snacks all day it's not that bad when you're home, at least during the 20 minute blocks of time when they're not fighting. If you have to get up to take things away from them a lot, then maybe it's time to put your porcelain horseshoe collection in a box for a little while.
Porcelain horseshoes. heh heh heh. Get it? Didn't think so.
My inmyheadpost this morning was about how I'm not really old. I'm in my 20s. I tell Steven that all the time. While he's heading into his mid-to-late 30s, I'm still in my 20s. He says I'll be there soon too. I say that at least he'll still be older than me.
I wish I had a convenient picture of Steven to post on here from when I met him. He had this sweet round boyish face, and looked about twelve.
Now?
Sorry honey, I have to tell. He has little white bristly hairs everywhere. I actually get kind of a kick out of his hairs. Pretty soon he won't be able to hear. There is a bushel of hair growing out of his ear-hole. It's white and crispy. The edges of his ears? He shaves them. Yesterday I sent him to the bathroom to snip about 18 hairs from his nose. I'd pluck them for him, but then his eyes get all watery and he's offended that I lied and told him there was a piece of lint I was going to grab for him. To be honest, I don't know how he breaths with his mouth closed.
Except for the hairs though, I have to say I like Steven's new "aged" look. He's lost a bit of weight and buffed up a little this last year of his hands-on job. His face looks more chiseled. He has these little crows feet around his eyes that crinkle up when he smiles. I like it. I actually think he's more attractive now than he was before. He looks more like a grown up.
But seriously, we forget that we're not late teens/early 20s. The other night in some odd conversation he mentioned that some girl he works with is cute. I asked him who he was. He told me. I said "Hey! I know her!" He pauses for a second and says, "How would you . . . you subbed her didn't you?!" I did. Which means she can't be more than 18. It occurred to us that there are now grownups out there who he is almost 14 years older than. Now he feels all pervy for checking out this kid. I mocked him. In just a few more years he could technically be old enough to have (legally) fathered kids out of the graduating class at the local high school!
I'm laughing now, just thinking of him reading this later.
I must admit, I'm not really 25. More like 26 or 27. One night I was peering at the hair around Steven's temple and found a colony of white ones in there. He insisted they were blond. I waited until he wasn't looking and then yanked one out to show him. He retaliated by supposedly finding a less-than-brown one on my own head. I wouldn't let him show me, because I'm in my 20s, I don't have less-than-brown hairs. Jerk.
The next day I dyed my hair, just to practice for later. Because it wasn't necessary. 'Cuz I'm young.
Life is crazy, and it's fast. I had this baby yesterday - her name was Jordan. She is the cutest baby you ever did see. Tomorrow she turns five and starts school.
Then I think it must be even weirder for my mom to have me hypothetically turn 30. Because she's not that old herself, is she? Nah. I can't believe how fast my kids are growing up, and my oldest isn't quite five yet. Imagine how creaky I'll feel when Jordan is celebrating her 30th.
Did you know it's been 12 years since I graduated?
Did you know it's been 14 years since I was old enough to get a licence?
Did you know the "kids" I subbed couldn't believe that I had a tattoo? (as if people older than 16 don't have them)
Did you know the "kids" I subbed asked if a kid in a different class was my kid? It was two years ago. He was in grade 9. We have the same last name. I didn't think I looked old enough to have a teenaged kid.
Did you know that it used to annoy me when I'd get ID'd and now I wish they would? Seriously, would it take so much time out of your busy schedule to ask to see my driver's?
Aren't they supposed to ID anyone who doesn't look 40? Crap. This is just getting worse!
Because I'm having the baby in June. I'm thinking of telling the Doc to make a note of it in his file.
I had this great post in my head this morning as I walked. It was humorous, well-written, entertaining, etc. Honest. Do you ever do that? Have a post all worked out in your head along with all these little interesting asides only to sit at the computer a few hours later and although you remember what the post was about, the quirky voice with which you were going to write it is gone? Happens to me all the time. I honestly think I had more to say when I had a job. Not that chasing these little gaffers around all day isn't a job.
Okay, it's not really chasing. If your house is somewhat baby/kid-proofed and your kids are somewhat trained to not beg for snacks all day it's not that bad when you're home, at least during the 20 minute blocks of time when they're not fighting. If you have to get up to take things away from them a lot, then maybe it's time to put your porcelain horseshoe collection in a box for a little while.
Porcelain horseshoes. heh heh heh. Get it? Didn't think so.
My inmyheadpost this morning was about how I'm not really old. I'm in my 20s. I tell Steven that all the time. While he's heading into his mid-to-late 30s, I'm still in my 20s. He says I'll be there soon too. I say that at least he'll still be older than me.
I wish I had a convenient picture of Steven to post on here from when I met him. He had this sweet round boyish face, and looked about twelve.
Now?
Sorry honey, I have to tell. He has little white bristly hairs everywhere. I actually get kind of a kick out of his hairs. Pretty soon he won't be able to hear. There is a bushel of hair growing out of his ear-hole. It's white and crispy. The edges of his ears? He shaves them. Yesterday I sent him to the bathroom to snip about 18 hairs from his nose. I'd pluck them for him, but then his eyes get all watery and he's offended that I lied and told him there was a piece of lint I was going to grab for him. To be honest, I don't know how he breaths with his mouth closed.
Except for the hairs though, I have to say I like Steven's new "aged" look. He's lost a bit of weight and buffed up a little this last year of his hands-on job. His face looks more chiseled. He has these little crows feet around his eyes that crinkle up when he smiles. I like it. I actually think he's more attractive now than he was before. He looks more like a grown up.
But seriously, we forget that we're not late teens/early 20s. The other night in some odd conversation he mentioned that some girl he works with is cute. I asked him who he was. He told me. I said "Hey! I know her!" He pauses for a second and says, "How would you . . . you subbed her didn't you?!" I did. Which means she can't be more than 18. It occurred to us that there are now grownups out there who he is almost 14 years older than. Now he feels all pervy for checking out this kid. I mocked him. In just a few more years he could technically be old enough to have (legally) fathered kids out of the graduating class at the local high school!
I'm laughing now, just thinking of him reading this later.
I must admit, I'm not really 25. More like 26 or 27. One night I was peering at the hair around Steven's temple and found a colony of white ones in there. He insisted they were blond. I waited until he wasn't looking and then yanked one out to show him. He retaliated by supposedly finding a less-than-brown one on my own head. I wouldn't let him show me, because I'm in my 20s, I don't have less-than-brown hairs. Jerk.
The next day I dyed my hair, just to practice for later. Because it wasn't necessary. 'Cuz I'm young.
Life is crazy, and it's fast. I had this baby yesterday - her name was Jordan. She is the cutest baby you ever did see. Tomorrow she turns five and starts school.
Then I think it must be even weirder for my mom to have me hypothetically turn 30. Because she's not that old herself, is she? Nah. I can't believe how fast my kids are growing up, and my oldest isn't quite five yet. Imagine how creaky I'll feel when Jordan is celebrating her 30th.
Did you know it's been 12 years since I graduated?
Did you know it's been 14 years since I was old enough to get a licence?
Did you know the "kids" I subbed couldn't believe that I had a tattoo? (as if people older than 16 don't have them)
Did you know the "kids" I subbed asked if a kid in a different class was my kid? It was two years ago. He was in grade 9. We have the same last name. I didn't think I looked old enough to have a teenaged kid.
Did you know that it used to annoy me when I'd get ID'd and now I wish they would? Seriously, would it take so much time out of your busy schedule to ask to see my driver's?
Aren't they supposed to ID anyone who doesn't look 40? Crap. This is just getting worse!
Comments
it's ridiculous when the kids you used to babysit are having babies, crazyness. Life is beautiful for so many reasons!
Are you pregnant?? :)
No seriously, I got pregnant a couple months before my 29th birthday and I totally freaked out. I didn't think I was old enough to be a mom (none- I mean NONE- of my friends had babies yet, and most of them are older than me) I didn't think I was smart enough or experienced enough or anything enough to have a child, I didn't think I was married long enough (um, 7 years was hardly any time at all if you asked me). And here you are on your 4th one, you have three great ones at home, and you have an education and a house and a nice husband and all of that. I say you are doing quite well for your YOUNG age!
And just think, when I'm old and grey and my kid is just starting college, you'll be all done with the mom stuff and on to your real life!!
At least I consider anything that has nothing to do with being a mom "real life". I know other people consider being a mom as real as it gets. But what I mean is that you'll have some me time and I'll still be picking up socks from behind the toilet.
Gosh I hope sock picking isn't real life...