mama's new toy

We've been getting vegetables from a local farming family. At the beginning of the summer we bought a share of the gardens, and each week they deliver a couple of bags of veggies. It's turning into a lot of veggies. There are multiple types of lettuce, swiss chard, kale, kohlrabi, zucchini, cucumbers, carrots, potatoes, green beans, yellow beans, peas, broccoli, radishes, beets, spinach and onions as well as different fresh herbs.

It's crazy.

I hate the thought of composting my organic, farm fresh veggies. Yesterday Steven threw a bunch of kale into the compost bucket. It was very sad. Yesterday we received our weekly veggies, and we weren't even through the bags from the week before. I decided to pure some of the veggies. Today I dug everything out of the fridge and put it all out on the island. I figured I could make a green puree out of some of the green stuff. I steamed some of the green and yellow beans and broccoli and blanched the kale. I piled it into the blender. Of course, it wouldn't blend. I hate my blender. Hate it. Stuff never blends. I don't know what you're actually supposed to use a blender for, because anything I've ever tried to prepare in the blender just results in me having blender rage and stabbing the stuff down with a spoon - for hours.

Again, I got out the wooden spoon and stabbed the daylights out of the kale at the bottom of the blender. I packed it around the blades. Surely it would work. I hit the button, only to see all my kale spring out and stick it's bastardly self all over the inside of the blender, silently mocking me.

If only I had a food processor. Shouldn't every mom have one? I'm a mom too you know.

I crammed the stupid kale all back down around the blades again. I squashed some swiss chard in around it (bet you want to come over and eat some puree) and hit the button again. Deep breaths.

It was ridiculous. I threw my spoon on the counter and yelled "Kids! Get your shoes on. We're going to the store!" I heard the "yays" and stomping of little feet flying up the basement stairs.

I stood there a moment longer. Did people really impulse buy these things? I hate spending money. The blender supposedly blends.

"Never mind. Go play, we're not going to the store."
"Aawww. You teased us!"
"I know. Sorry. I think I teased myself!"

I sent a bunch of dejected children back down the basement and again packed the food into the blender. I had added water earlier. It was nice to see that the water around the blades had a slight greenish tinge to it. Surely it would all blend up sooner or later right?

I put the lid on. Before I had a chance to hit the button, the blender sprung to life on its own. Nothing like haunted kitchen appliances to brighten ones day. I pushed the OFF button. It wouldn't turn off. I pushed it a bunch more times - when the machine thinks there are a BUNCH of angry women trying to turn it off it should comply for sure. Nope. I unplugged it.

Huh. Dare I hope? Is it broken?

I plugged it back in. It fired back up, and again wouldn't turn off until I unplugged it. I think I'd have messed myself a little had it started up without being plugged in. It actually occurred to me at one point. I think I read too much.

I unplugged it. I plugged it back in. Nothing. I pushed the ON button. Nothing.

Yes!!

"Kids! Get your shoes on, we're going to Walmart!"
"Yay! Are we getting a cookie?"
"Nope. That's Sobey's."
"Aw."
"Don't 'Aw' me. Get your shoes on."

Fourteen seconds later and I was in the van, cruising to the store and trying to simultaneously talk myself into and out of buying a food processor. It's not really in the budget, but then neither are groceries so really, what's one more thing right?

At Walmart: I pile my two youngest into the cart, and futilely threaten the oldest into behaving themselves. I don't know about everyone else's kids, but mine do the best at the store when I move fast enough that they have to run to keep up. When I want to stop and compare products and prices is when the whole behavior thing crumbles.

I found an end display of food processors for $130. Crap. I was hoping they'd be cheaper. $9.97 would have been nice. I stopped a worker and asked if they had any more. She told me that it wasn't her department so she didn't know, but that's probably all they had, and did she want me to find someone who would know for sure?

Uh, no. Thanks for your help. I should really get a job at one of these places. Seriously? I'm sure Walmart has only five food processors. I carried on. An isle over they had their usual stock and selection. There was a $30 processor, and an $80 right beside it. Not to be hoity toity, but I sometimes question the value of the really cheap version of something, especially when it's an appliance. I stood there, thinking, while the kids tried out all the spring loaded loose tea holders. I knelt down to read the features. A flip flop spiralled past me on the floor. Why my kids can't just keep their shoes on in the store is beyond me. I decided I was taking the expensive one. They had other ones too, some around the same price, some much more expensive. This one held 10 cups and had another attachment for grating stuff, and a dough hook thing. Cuz I make bread. Ha. Pizza dough maybe.

I rounded up the heathens and paid for my merchandise.

I loaded them into the van, scolding them for being naughty in the store. Of course when one is out with her four naughty children the best next step is heading over to another store just to make sure she hasn't just been ripped off.

At Canadian Tire I found the processors. They had a similar selection, and the exact same one I had just bought for $80 was on sale for $40, down from $100. Do these places not compare their prices with those of the competition? Guess not.

I'm standing there trying to make sure it's the same one, while my kids run up and down the isle opening and closing the doors on microwaves. I could stop them from doing these things but then what would I blog about? I did yell a couple of times. A worker noticed me checking out the special and came over to scan it and see if they had any left in the back. They didn't. She offered to sell me the display model until we noticed it had a crack in it. I went up to the front of the store for a rain check on the model. The clerk informed me that they had some left at the Canadian Tire store on the West side of Winnipeg.

Ever spontaneously spent over an hour in the van with four kids? I bet you'd think the thought would be annoying. It's not. I love driving places with them. They're buckled, they're not fighting, climbing the bathroom sink for water that they spill all over, they sleep, I don't have to chase or get snacks. It's just a little slice of heaven, but it also includes cappuccino and radio. Except for Miss Screechy Baby who doesn't like to be buckled, but I'm sure she'll grow out of it soon. I was kind of looking forward to the drive. I couldn't, after all, just not finish what I was doing with my veggies. They were cooked and ready to go. In fact, it was all still sitting on the counter and in the blender since I was just running out to quickly grab a new food processor.

What? It's not like it was chicken!

I figured that first I should probably return the one I already bought.

Back to Walmart. This is when I got the obvious idea to just have them price match it. I got into line. Jordan helped herself to the payphone, hoping to call her daddy, Mitchell gave his toy car to Ellie who threw it and had it banished to my pocket, with Mitchie whining and begging to have it back, Tennyson bothered Jordan who was then in time out, so he got to sit in time out with her, they needed to be separated so they ended up on different walls, and slid their shoes back and forth to each other while the manager stood there and looked back and forth between Canadian Tire's ad and the processor I had purchased 30 minutes before.

Was it a good morning?

Heck ya! I got a new food processor, had Walmart give me back $44 for my trouble, and fed zucchinis, broccoli, green beans, yellow beans, chard and kale into a green pulp, resisting the urge to yell "Die evil Zucchini - Die!" because the kids were watching in awe at the machine gobbling up more and more food. I didn't realize how happy (and a little crazy) I must have looked until I noticed that the kids were staring at me in wide eyed grinning wonder.

"Mommy got a new toy! This is the best day ever!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, this is the best day!" they shouted, eagerly helping to toss more produce in the veggie death hole on top of the machine.

I had to do it. My blender died.