mommy stuff

My girl is so funny. Tonight she comes into the computer room and finds a broken hot wheels car.

"It's a broken car!" she says. "I like that car, but sadly, it broke." I know it probably sounds like no big deal, but I think it's hilarious that she added in the "...but sadly..." part. She does that a lot now, ads in extra words or phrases, stuff I'm not really expecting. She's so smart.

I'm completely unbiased.

The other day I was covering my ever-increasing baby bump with lotion. Jordan is fascinated with "the belly" and was just staring at it. "Look Jordan," I said. "The baby is making Mommy fat." She looks up at me with the patience of a 13 year old and says "Oh Mommy, you're not fat, the baby is just growing!" She's so positive about it, she loves it. She loves that her little sister is in there growing big enough to come out and become the family dolly.

Did you know that Jordan didn't even know what "fat" meant until sort of recently? It's a word I tried not to use around her. I don't want her to think it matters, or that what you look like makes you more or less a person. Then she learned the word, and she used the word a few times, very innocently.

My dilemma? How do I get her to not use the word without alerting her to the fact that it's not okay to be overweight? I'm not sure how to say what I mean. I told her that it's not nice to say that people are fat (see, this is why we didn't use this word for years here). She wanted to know why. I went on to explain that it kind of hurts people's feelings to be called that. She was satisfied.

Lately too, I've been trying to get across a little bit that being pretty isn't everything. It probably sounds hollow, since she's so dang cute and is told all the time by people that she's pretty, that her hair is pretty, etc.

The other day I told her that it's nice to be pretty, but that being pretty isn't the most important thing. I told her that I'd love her even if she wasn't all that pretty (I laugh as I write this, not sure how it's sounding). I told her that it was way more important to be funny and silly and nice to her friends and to play nice with siblings. I told her that she was wonderfully goofy and made mommy laugh all the time (she really does). I told her that I really liked how she helps me do things and tidy up and buckles up Tennyson in the van. I told her that while it was nice to be pretty, it's nicer to be a cool little kid. She liked that too. She's a great little kid.

I know that lots of times when we blog we get on here when we're having a downer day or when someone has crapped his/her pants in the park and we're venting. Isn't that how a diary/journal/blog sometimes leans? Yet there is loads of great stuff that doesn't always make it on here.

Even when she tells me I'm not her friend she's a great kid. Because I know that she's trying to get confrontational because she knows that I'll talk to her and walk her through it and that I'll give her an out and tell her I'm not mad at her. She knows that she may not be my friend at any given moment, but I'm always her mommy and I'll always love her.

Did you know that I tell my kids that even when I'm mad at them or they're in time out or in some kind of trouble that I still love them? It's amazing how much they love hearing that. They actually talk about it. It's amazing how a few words can make such a difference to a kid.

Comments

Ugh. I hate the balance between good words and bad words. Bright and Star both call people fat. It drives me crazy. I try to tell them that being healthy is the most important. If you are overweight and healthy, great. If you aren't, then you should do something to correct that. But I try not to get into the "fat is ugly" connotations. And I try not to obsess over my own weight in front of them. It's hard because you never know when they are listening and when they are just playing in the next room.

Ah well. One more thing to tell their psychologists when they are older.

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