the inevitable reveal
I need to say that I am just a little embarrassed for two of my readers. You know who you are.
Before I reveal which of the 5 scenarios took place in my home yesterday I think we need to pause for a brief lecture. That's right - lecture.
First of all, hours went by before anyone had any faith in Mitchie. I'd like to thank Lora for being the first to recognize the advanced genius of my baby. It was the only positive choice! And he's great! Sadly, that wasn't the right answer.
Shall we talk about the meaning of the world "inevitable"?
It's really really nice to know that you think me running into the garage with my van is as likely to occur as death. Do you know how often death happens? 100% of the time.
Sorry if this sounds snotty, it's supposed to be funny(ish) but I'm tired. Of course I had to have some sort of response to you bad bad people who think I'm a bad driver!
We're down to Tennyson, Jordan and Steven.
Jordan: the big clue here? Anyone who has been around to see my reaction to the kids taking my cushions off the couch knows that isn't the answer.
Steven's gummy bears - it's definitely inevitable, but hasn't happened yet.
That's only leaves Tennyson. Poor poor little Tennyson with his long gangly clumsy legs and his uncanny ability to hit his head on things.
Yesterday I heard a big thump in the living room followed by Tennyson crying. I sigh (because that's what I do when I think he's tipped over the piano bench or end table onto himself) and go to check things out. He was laying face-down on the floor with his face in his hands, bawling away.
"What is going on here?" I scolded. Jordan looked worried, but not necessarily guilty.
Then the boy looked up. There was blood all down his face, chest, shorts, hands and forearms. Oddly enough, not too much on the carpet. I grabbed him and ran for the bathroom, where I pressed a wet cloth to his blood-pumping forehead. Upon closer inspection, the cut was probably only about an inch long, but it was gaping open and there was definitely flesh underneath. I cleaned him up and band-aided him. Then my mom showed up.
He had tripped and hit his face on the front edge of the entertainment unit where the TV sits. You could tell exactly where it happened because there was a blood spray pattern right there that exactly matched the size of his forehead cut. It was a little yucky.
I figured I had best take the boy to the hospital.
It was the highlight of his day. He scrambled to get his sandals on, and raced for the van. I have no idea where this joy of going to the doctor comes from. He's only ever been there for immunizations.
The entire trip to the hospital he babbled "Me going to doctor, Jojo stay home with Bubba, jus me an' mommy go to the doctor. Me going all self." He was pretty pumped about going to the doctor - especially since it was a special little trip somewhere that he didn't have to share with his siblings. I guess I never realised how rare it is for him to get his parents to himself. Upon arrival at the hospital he proudly held my hand and eagerly anticipated his meeting with the doctor.
To anyone who would listen, he'd point at his head and say "I bonked mine head open. Jojo stay home, me go to the doctor." It was pretty cute. I was quite proud of him.
Before long we were in a little room with an examining bed waiting for the doctor. He sat there, very serious about being a big boy. There was no running around and pushing buttons or crying. He had some business to attend to.
Then the doctor came and Tennyson recited the same story all over again - "I bonked mine head open." The doctor simply pinched his wound together and poured some glue all over it. No stitches, needles or crying. Tennyson laid on the bed very still and let it all happen. I thought I'd have to pin him to the mat.
To top it off, he got a new, bigger band-aid (at home they really have to bleed before I'll let the band-aids come out so it was quite an event) and a pink Popsicle.
It was the highlight of his week I'm sure.
ORIGINAL POST:
Based on your immense knowledge of my family, which of the following scenarios do you suppose happened today:
1. Mitchell took his very first tentative steps at only 10 months of age!
2. Tennyson tripped over his own feet and "bonked" his head on the edge of the entertainment unit and had to go to the hospital.
3. Jordan piled up all of her toys, couches, dollies, my couch cushions against the big living room window and then climbed and jumped all over her pile, resulting in a crack in one of the panes.
4. Tiffany accidentally, sort of "bumped" the garage door with the van.
5. Steven was mocked at work for packing a container of gummy bears in his lunch.
Vote in my poll on the left!
Before I reveal which of the 5 scenarios took place in my home yesterday I think we need to pause for a brief lecture. That's right - lecture.
First of all, hours went by before anyone had any faith in Mitchie. I'd like to thank Lora for being the first to recognize the advanced genius of my baby. It was the only positive choice! And he's great! Sadly, that wasn't the right answer.
Shall we talk about the meaning of the world "inevitable"?
| 1. | unable to be avoided, evaded, or escaped; certain; necessary: an inevitable conclusion. |
| 2. | sure to occur, happen, or come; unalterable: The inevitable end of human life is death. |
It's really really nice to know that you think me running into the garage with my van is as likely to occur as death. Do you know how often death happens? 100% of the time.
Sorry if this sounds snotty, it's supposed to be funny(ish) but I'm tired. Of course I had to have some sort of response to you bad bad people who think I'm a bad driver!
We're down to Tennyson, Jordan and Steven.
Jordan: the big clue here? Anyone who has been around to see my reaction to the kids taking my cushions off the couch knows that isn't the answer.
Steven's gummy bears - it's definitely inevitable, but hasn't happened yet.
That's only leaves Tennyson. Poor poor little Tennyson with his long gangly clumsy legs and his uncanny ability to hit his head on things.
Yesterday I heard a big thump in the living room followed by Tennyson crying. I sigh (because that's what I do when I think he's tipped over the piano bench or end table onto himself) and go to check things out. He was laying face-down on the floor with his face in his hands, bawling away.
"What is going on here?" I scolded. Jordan looked worried, but not necessarily guilty.
Then the boy looked up. There was blood all down his face, chest, shorts, hands and forearms. Oddly enough, not too much on the carpet. I grabbed him and ran for the bathroom, where I pressed a wet cloth to his blood-pumping forehead. Upon closer inspection, the cut was probably only about an inch long, but it was gaping open and there was definitely flesh underneath. I cleaned him up and band-aided him. Then my mom showed up.
He had tripped and hit his face on the front edge of the entertainment unit where the TV sits. You could tell exactly where it happened because there was a blood spray pattern right there that exactly matched the size of his forehead cut. It was a little yucky.
I figured I had best take the boy to the hospital.
It was the highlight of his day. He scrambled to get his sandals on, and raced for the van. I have no idea where this joy of going to the doctor comes from. He's only ever been there for immunizations.
The entire trip to the hospital he babbled "Me going to doctor, Jojo stay home with Bubba, jus me an' mommy go to the doctor. Me going all self." He was pretty pumped about going to the doctor - especially since it was a special little trip somewhere that he didn't have to share with his siblings. I guess I never realised how rare it is for him to get his parents to himself. Upon arrival at the hospital he proudly held my hand and eagerly anticipated his meeting with the doctor.
To anyone who would listen, he'd point at his head and say "I bonked mine head open. Jojo stay home, me go to the doctor." It was pretty cute. I was quite proud of him.
Before long we were in a little room with an examining bed waiting for the doctor. He sat there, very serious about being a big boy. There was no running around and pushing buttons or crying. He had some business to attend to.
Then the doctor came and Tennyson recited the same story all over again - "I bonked mine head open." The doctor simply pinched his wound together and poured some glue all over it. No stitches, needles or crying. Tennyson laid on the bed very still and let it all happen. I thought I'd have to pin him to the mat.
To top it off, he got a new, bigger band-aid (at home they really have to bleed before I'll let the band-aids come out so it was quite an event) and a pink Popsicle.
It was the highlight of his week I'm sure.
ORIGINAL POST:
Based on your immense knowledge of my family, which of the following scenarios do you suppose happened today:
1. Mitchell took his very first tentative steps at only 10 months of age!
2. Tennyson tripped over his own feet and "bonked" his head on the edge of the entertainment unit and had to go to the hospital.
3. Jordan piled up all of her toys, couches, dollies, my couch cushions against the big living room window and then climbed and jumped all over her pile, resulting in a crack in one of the panes.
4. Tiffany accidentally, sort of "bumped" the garage door with the van.
5. Steven was mocked at work for packing a container of gummy bears in his lunch.
Vote in my poll on the left!
Comments
Still not telling.