do other mothers really have that kind of patience?
Lately television commercials have been making me feel guilty. You know that commercial where it shows different kids trying different tactics to get the orange juice out of the orange? One kid is using a toy hammer to try and smash an orange down onto a manual juicer, another kid is trying to crush the orange with his toy dump truck, and a few other kids had a few other interesting ways to bust into an orange. There are no mothers around anywhere. The commercial is light-hearted and fun, with the "kids being kids". It's an orange juice ad of course.
There's this other commercial too, where a couple of babies (toddlers?) are eating baby food out of little bowls. The baby food is some sort of strained, green confection, and there are no spoons in sight. The kids are licking the bowls, using their hands, smearing the sludge all over everything, and making a horrible mess!
In your home, how would you respond to these kinds of situations? TV moms are perfect. It's a whole lot of "oh you are so cute, now let's take pictures and laugh and delight in the joys of childhood before mommy happily cleans this up with the paper towel that never tears, even when wet! My days are so joyous!"
Let's get one thing clear: I am so not that mom. I do not have the patience for that kind of stuff. If I came up the stairs and caught my kids using toys to crush oranges all over my floor, my rant would probably sound something like this:
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE! GIVE ME THAT. YOU DO NOT TAKE FOOD OUT OF THE CUPBOARD WITHOUT ASKING AND YOU DO NOT SQUASH IT ALL OVER MY KITCHEN..." and so on and so forth. They'd then end up in time out while I fumed and cleaned orange pulp off the floor, the stools, the sides of the island. Yes, I speak from experience. Not oranges, but a great many other things.
Is it so horrible? Is it really so terrible to react with annoyance and not see the joy in these types of things? It all makes so much more work! Kids (although I love them to bits) are so much work already, how can mothers honestly take joy in this type of thing?
Back to the ad with the kids and the baby food. AS IF. I honestly don't know of anyone who would just hand over a big dish of strained peas to a toddler and then leave them to their own devices. Seriously, it's just asinine. Isn't it?
I don't know. Maybe I lack patience. I don't even let Jordan colour with crayons without supervision. Not that she can't have them when she wants, but I don't just leave them in her toy box. I know what kids do with crayons. I used to babysit all the time, and I couldn't believe that moms would just let their kids run wild with them. They colour on EVERYTHING! Walls, appliances, you name it. Jordan got a hold of one the other day (seems daddy is a little more lax than I am) and she "decorated" a few things in the basement. Nothing too serious, but if I'd have found it all over the walls I would not have been impressed. You wouldn't have seen me happily magic-erasering it off, that's for sure.
But yes, the commercials are driving me nuts. Sometimes they make me feel guilty for not having more patience. Other times I think "some people are so dumb!"
There's this other commercial too, where a couple of babies (toddlers?) are eating baby food out of little bowls. The baby food is some sort of strained, green confection, and there are no spoons in sight. The kids are licking the bowls, using their hands, smearing the sludge all over everything, and making a horrible mess!
In your home, how would you respond to these kinds of situations? TV moms are perfect. It's a whole lot of "oh you are so cute, now let's take pictures and laugh and delight in the joys of childhood before mommy happily cleans this up with the paper towel that never tears, even when wet! My days are so joyous!"
Let's get one thing clear: I am so not that mom. I do not have the patience for that kind of stuff. If I came up the stairs and caught my kids using toys to crush oranges all over my floor, my rant would probably sound something like this:
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE! GIVE ME THAT. YOU DO NOT TAKE FOOD OUT OF THE CUPBOARD WITHOUT ASKING AND YOU DO NOT SQUASH IT ALL OVER MY KITCHEN..." and so on and so forth. They'd then end up in time out while I fumed and cleaned orange pulp off the floor, the stools, the sides of the island. Yes, I speak from experience. Not oranges, but a great many other things.
Is it so horrible? Is it really so terrible to react with annoyance and not see the joy in these types of things? It all makes so much more work! Kids (although I love them to bits) are so much work already, how can mothers honestly take joy in this type of thing?
Back to the ad with the kids and the baby food. AS IF. I honestly don't know of anyone who would just hand over a big dish of strained peas to a toddler and then leave them to their own devices. Seriously, it's just asinine. Isn't it?
I don't know. Maybe I lack patience. I don't even let Jordan colour with crayons without supervision. Not that she can't have them when she wants, but I don't just leave them in her toy box. I know what kids do with crayons. I used to babysit all the time, and I couldn't believe that moms would just let their kids run wild with them. They colour on EVERYTHING! Walls, appliances, you name it. Jordan got a hold of one the other day (seems daddy is a little more lax than I am) and she "decorated" a few things in the basement. Nothing too serious, but if I'd have found it all over the walls I would not have been impressed. You wouldn't have seen me happily magic-erasering it off, that's for sure.
But yes, the commercials are driving me nuts. Sometimes they make me feel guilty for not having more patience. Other times I think "some people are so dumb!"
*****
Another patience story? Okay! Yesterday I took Jordan to a local school for a pre-school wellness screening fair. You make an appointment, and then you bring your pre-schooler in and stop at about 6 different stations. You talk to someone about dental health, someone weighs and measures them, they double check that their vaccinations are up to date, their hand/eye coordination is checked, among other things. I didn't really look for a babysitter. I feel so pesty bugging people to babysit all the time, especially since everyone I know here either works or has a bunch of kids already. I figured, it's just an hour and a half, I'll bring the stroller and some snacks and all will be okay right? Ha!
First off, when I got to the school I was notified that all the stations were either upstairs, or downstairs. I was in the middle. They told me they'd watch my stroller for me so I could just leave it by the sign-in table. I sighed inwardly. This did not bode well.
The first station went something like this:
Jordan refused to cooperate. The worker wanted to see if she could hop from circle to circle to circle. I guess to check on her physical development. She just ran back and forth over top of them the whole time. Personally, I know she can hop. All she does all day is run around, climb things, hop things. I can't leave the baby on the floor because she'll stand on one side of him, with her feet together, and hop over him. She used to do this to Tennyson, that was over a year ago. Mitchell doesn't get a lot of floor time because of this. She scares the daylights out of me. Did I ever mention the time I put Tennyson on the floor when he was probably six months old, and I left the living room for just a second, and when I came back she was standing on him? Yep. He was on his back, she was standing with both feet on his stomach. He wasn't bothered. They were both just staring at the tv. Anyway, she wouldn't do the hopping. Then the lady wanted her to slowly and methodically walk a balance beam laid out on the floor, heel to toe. Jordan RAN down the balance beam. It took her all of 3 steps. Should have been 15. She did this a dozen times before we gave up. I then told Jordan that I bet she couldn't do the hopping. She's always up for a dare. She did the hopping. Then the lady wanted her to catch a rubber ball. Jordan doesn't catch well. Her attention span is somewhat limited, especially if she has to stand still for too long in a room, in a school, where other kids are. Other kids are shy, and play catch with the lady. Jordan makes it her goal to take out light fixtures. She's laughing away and just hucking the ball all over the place, and into ceiling tiles. The lady is trying to nicely talk Jordan into coming back and throwing it back to her, but Jordan sort of laughs this evil laugh she has and hucks it around some more.
Then there's Tennyson. I set him down so I could try and bully Jordan into doing the activities. He thought the balls were fun too, and was throwing them around. That wasn't as bad as bolting for the door and down the hall.
Mitchell cried.
The next station was in the library. Other kids are sitting nicely and doing puzzles and answering questions. Except this one kid - he wasn't happy and kept yelling at his parents. They looked a little intimidated by him. Jordan ran around and crawled in and out of the bath tub full of pillows and perused books. Except Jordan doesn't peruse. Then she was supposed to come back and use the toothbrush to brush the monster's teeth. Then she got in trouble for using the toothbrush on her own teeth. The entire time I've got Tennyson locked in a death grip on my lap, and I'm using the other arm to rock the baby in the carseat. In the midst of all this I eventually ditched them all in the library and ran upstairs and hauled my clunky stroller down the flight of stairs. I think people thought I was nuts. It was a little better with the baby in the stroller with his bottle propped up, and Tennyson chowing down on snacks. I was able to better focus on Jordan this way.
Turns out Jordan is pretty average with everything. I refuse to feel parental guilt because my kid just grins as the ball bounces off her chest and doesn't do much to catch it. I was also told by the audiologist that I could have her hearing rechecked because she wasn't sure that she heard some of the sounds. I figure that Jordan hears just fine, she just doesn't listen. I had to prompt her the entire time to tell me if it beeped, and the entire time she was looking exceptionally anxious and begging me to let her take the head set off. I'm not too worried.
It was one of those days that I belted them all into the van and then leaned for a minute outside and enjoyed the peace and unburdening. Three kids, a diaper bag and a 2 ton double stroller is a lot of baggage to haul around. And my patience was about at an end. AND Steven left two wonderbars peeking out at me from the cubby. It would have been a good day to hork down a couple of wonderbars, but I resisted. Pretty good eh?
First off, when I got to the school I was notified that all the stations were either upstairs, or downstairs. I was in the middle. They told me they'd watch my stroller for me so I could just leave it by the sign-in table. I sighed inwardly. This did not bode well.
The first station went something like this:
Jordan refused to cooperate. The worker wanted to see if she could hop from circle to circle to circle. I guess to check on her physical development. She just ran back and forth over top of them the whole time. Personally, I know she can hop. All she does all day is run around, climb things, hop things. I can't leave the baby on the floor because she'll stand on one side of him, with her feet together, and hop over him. She used to do this to Tennyson, that was over a year ago. Mitchell doesn't get a lot of floor time because of this. She scares the daylights out of me. Did I ever mention the time I put Tennyson on the floor when he was probably six months old, and I left the living room for just a second, and when I came back she was standing on him? Yep. He was on his back, she was standing with both feet on his stomach. He wasn't bothered. They were both just staring at the tv. Anyway, she wouldn't do the hopping. Then the lady wanted her to slowly and methodically walk a balance beam laid out on the floor, heel to toe. Jordan RAN down the balance beam. It took her all of 3 steps. Should have been 15. She did this a dozen times before we gave up. I then told Jordan that I bet she couldn't do the hopping. She's always up for a dare. She did the hopping. Then the lady wanted her to catch a rubber ball. Jordan doesn't catch well. Her attention span is somewhat limited, especially if she has to stand still for too long in a room, in a school, where other kids are. Other kids are shy, and play catch with the lady. Jordan makes it her goal to take out light fixtures. She's laughing away and just hucking the ball all over the place, and into ceiling tiles. The lady is trying to nicely talk Jordan into coming back and throwing it back to her, but Jordan sort of laughs this evil laugh she has and hucks it around some more.
Then there's Tennyson. I set him down so I could try and bully Jordan into doing the activities. He thought the balls were fun too, and was throwing them around. That wasn't as bad as bolting for the door and down the hall.
Mitchell cried.
The next station was in the library. Other kids are sitting nicely and doing puzzles and answering questions. Except this one kid - he wasn't happy and kept yelling at his parents. They looked a little intimidated by him. Jordan ran around and crawled in and out of the bath tub full of pillows and perused books. Except Jordan doesn't peruse. Then she was supposed to come back and use the toothbrush to brush the monster's teeth. Then she got in trouble for using the toothbrush on her own teeth. The entire time I've got Tennyson locked in a death grip on my lap, and I'm using the other arm to rock the baby in the carseat. In the midst of all this I eventually ditched them all in the library and ran upstairs and hauled my clunky stroller down the flight of stairs. I think people thought I was nuts. It was a little better with the baby in the stroller with his bottle propped up, and Tennyson chowing down on snacks. I was able to better focus on Jordan this way.
Turns out Jordan is pretty average with everything. I refuse to feel parental guilt because my kid just grins as the ball bounces off her chest and doesn't do much to catch it. I was also told by the audiologist that I could have her hearing rechecked because she wasn't sure that she heard some of the sounds. I figure that Jordan hears just fine, she just doesn't listen. I had to prompt her the entire time to tell me if it beeped, and the entire time she was looking exceptionally anxious and begging me to let her take the head set off. I'm not too worried.
It was one of those days that I belted them all into the van and then leaned for a minute outside and enjoyed the peace and unburdening. Three kids, a diaper bag and a 2 ton double stroller is a lot of baggage to haul around. And my patience was about at an end. AND Steven left two wonderbars peeking out at me from the cubby. It would have been a good day to hork down a couple of wonderbars, but I resisted. Pretty good eh?
Comments
I can't wait until you're writing similar posts about your youngins!