happy father's day

I'd like to take a moment and wish my awesome husband a happy father's day. We actually celebrated our fourth anniversary a few weeks ago, and I forgot to post my love that day, but I haven't forgotten father's day on here!

Many of us get married and we know that kids are on the horizon somewhere, even if not in the near future. I think it's one of the most important things that we should consider when we get married. Sure we love our partner/fiance/boyfriend, but we need to think of the rest of our lives. Soon our boyfriend becomes our husband and the relationship changes. When we begin seeing someone we have the thrill of the new relationship. Remember the way you'd feel when you'd see his car pulling into your driveway? Your heart skips a beat and you get this goofy grin on your face that you try your darnedest to tone down a bit so you don't look half so eager and uncool and collected. You do weird things with your schedule so you can see each other as much as possible. You make him come to all your family gatherings and hang out with your friends and you desperately hope that they'll like him too so that all the people in your life who really matter get along well with your new beau.

Then there's marriage. I absolutely have no ball-and-chain viewpoint of marriage. I love being married. I adore my husband. I still watch the clock and can't wait until he comes home at the end of the workday. I love seeing his shadow in the window and hearing his key turn in the lock, and the first sight of those beautiful baby blues and I feel like I'm home again too. I know that my friends and I good-naturedly complain about those men, but truth be known, I wouldn't change him. Regardless of the socks carelessly resting on the floor 3 feet from the laundry basket, he has entirely too many good qualities to get too bent out of shape over the little things. Being married does change things though. It cements the relationship, it verbalizes and confirms the life-long commitment, it makes it official. It allows you to know that the choices that you now make forever regarding your life you now make together. Compromise, empathy and selflessness are huge in marriage. You are now accountable to someone else. Two people become one family. Not one person - you still need to appreciate, love and respect the individual you married and come together in love and understanding.

Just when you think you've sort of got this marriage thing figured out, the kids start to come. Again, you better hope you've married the right person because kids change things way more than getting married did! We see the commercials where the happy, glowing, loving people are swooning over a baby in their cozy, clean homes. This is so not the case unless you have familial volunteers coming over and cleaning and night-feeding for you. Don't get me wrong, babies are wonderful and it's amazing how loving them can bring tears to your eyes when you look into their beautiful sleeping faces. However. Again, however. Babies are not all cozy, lamp lit scenes of family love. They're night-time feedings, endless laundry, poopy sleepers, tired parents. Tired, tired, tired parents. Again, it's something that requires love, support and loads of understanding from your husband. Twelve hours alone with a new crying baby after having very little sleep the night before and imagine how much patience you have when your over-worked husband comes home for dinner. Then you think that things will get easier when the baby grows up a little, and it does, sort of. There is still crying, poop, and tired parents. You don't necessarily have to do so much for the young child, but keeping them out of things can be a chore. As parents, you then have to come to agreements on schedules, diets, discipline methods, etc. Then, just as you start to get the ship running smoothly mother nature begins to whisper in your ear and along comes baby #2 and the whole journey starts again.

It's a far cry from the days where the boyfriend comes over at 7:30 at night with a movie and some blizzards and you can curl up on the couch and snuggle. In those boyfriend/girlfriend days we never had to worry about kids, about waking up all night, about finances, mortgages and car payments. We didn't have to worry about what kind of marriage partner the other person would make, or what kind of parent. We just enjoyed the moment and each other's company. We were carefree and light-hearted and had lots of time to be completely into each other. There were no real distractions.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining about marriage or kids. As I said earlier, I love being married. More importantly I love being married to Steven. I don't think I could have found anybody better. We have connected so well since the very beginning of our relationship. He has always been able to make me laugh and to see life's possibilities. He's laid back where I'm a bit of a worrier, he's easy-going when I'm concerned about things. We compliment each other so well. As our relationship has changed into one of marriage and then parenthood I feel like we've only gotten closer. We've seen each other through the university years, the crappy jobs and little pay years, buying our first home and having our first babies. Through it all I have been so lucky to have him by my side and with his hand in mine. I know this is a bit mushy, but it's true.

Today on father's day I can honestly say that there is nobody I would have rather had kids with than Steven. Having kids is a big deal. I love them more than anything, and in order to have kids you have to choose someone with whom to have them. You have to share your kids and your family forever with another person. You have to trust that person to love the kids as you do and to value the family as you do. I can honestly say that I feel that with Steven. I look at my kids and know that our family was one born in love, and for that I'll be forever thankful.

Sorry everyone for all the sap, but seriously, you could have stopped reading paragraphs ago!

So to Steven - I love you. I love everything about you. You are a wonderful father and there is nobody else I would have chosen to live my life with. The kids and I are especially blessed to call you ours. Happy Father's Day!