birthdays
We celebrated Jordan's 3rd birthday this last weekend. I can't believe how fast the time is going. You may think "but she's only 3" and she is, but I feel like "wow, she's 3 already."
Sometimes I think - if only she was a little older and could do this by herself, or understand that a little better. But then i think that I'm wishing away the time that is now. This is a great time. This age can be frustrating and trying too, but it's wondrous in the things she's learning and doing as her tiny hands struggle to grasp independence and understanding.
Sometimes I just watch her. She's such a miracle. It's so easy to be tired and short-tempered when as a mother I juggle kids, a job, family and try to keep my own identity throughout. Yet if I watch my daughter play and get into things I really learn so much about her.
For instance, she's fascinated with the hose and watering. She can turn it all on by herself now, and it's aggravating at times to go outside only to notice too late that she's been mucking in the soil of the flowerbeds. There's another mess, and more mud on her legs, and hopefully her once clean, new outfit will come clean yet again. It seems like everything she does creates more work for me. Yet when I resign myself to her game and just watch her, it is so very clear that she's not really out to get me. Her activities have such a natural and unplanned flow. She doesn't pick up the hose with the laundry in mind. No, first she waters the plants, and waters, and waters. She tiptoes into the flowerbeds to get closer, careful to avoid stepping on the leaves. Of course she gets muddy feet, so she steps back onto the sidewalk to hose her feet off. This is when she gets her already muddy pants even wetter. Sometimes she decides they're too wet and takes them off. This is all done in absolute seriousness. As I watch her doing these things it becomes apparent that she is continuously thinking and choosing. Her 3 year old mind is always on, always working and figuring. If I'm quiet and leave her she will quietly continue on with something for quite some time.
Not to say that she is a pinnacle of self-reflection and quiet thought. She is 3 after all and if Tennyson is outside he'll get a good watering, and her seriousness is interrupted in her even greater desire that he doesn't touch her stuff.
There are so many sides to her, it's amazing. She's inquisitive, imaginative, loving, demanding, defiant and so much more. I don't know if I have the ability to sum her up in a few words. There are days when she tells me she loves me, that I'm her best friend. Days when she wants to help me with everything. She follows me around and tries to win my approval, her face beaming when I praise her. There are days she just doesn't care. She busies herself with toys and TV and Tennyson and we meet for lunch at the table. Then there are the days when it seems as though she woke up with only one goal - to drive me crazy. These are the days when she constantly gets into things and does things that she knows are off limits, things that she has been punished for and we have formed a blossoming understanding of. She gets into a confrontational mood and just pushes buttons all day. When I step in she gives me her knowing, watchagonnadoaboutit look and does it anyway. If I get more forceful she tantrums. She'll sit in time out and punch and kick walls, glaring at me, swinging her little fists in my direction. Or she'll look at me and just scream. Then she'll cry angrily until I let her out. These are the days she tells me she doesn't like me, and only loves Daddy, that I should go to work. These are the days that I think that if only she was a little older it would be easier, that she would understand somehow.
Then I quickly take it back. I know that she will get older, she will grow up. This is part of growing up. Every day she strives to discover who she is, what her place is in the family. She pushes to learn her limits and boundaries, but also her strengths. If she didn't push and assert herself she'd still be a baby. She's growing up so fast already. I know she's only 3, but wow, she's 3! And I have a sinking feeling that 3 will turn into 10 awfully quickly, and I am saddened to think of how fast these years will pass.
So I will treasure the good days, muddle through the tiring ones and love her unconditionally through all.
Every evening ends with her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her beautiful face grinning as she tells me she loves me. Being a mommy has many ups and downs, but there is nothing that can compare.
Happy Birthday Jordan, don't grow up too fast.
Sometimes I think - if only she was a little older and could do this by herself, or understand that a little better. But then i think that I'm wishing away the time that is now. This is a great time. This age can be frustrating and trying too, but it's wondrous in the things she's learning and doing as her tiny hands struggle to grasp independence and understanding.
Sometimes I just watch her. She's such a miracle. It's so easy to be tired and short-tempered when as a mother I juggle kids, a job, family and try to keep my own identity throughout. Yet if I watch my daughter play and get into things I really learn so much about her.
For instance, she's fascinated with the hose and watering. She can turn it all on by herself now, and it's aggravating at times to go outside only to notice too late that she's been mucking in the soil of the flowerbeds. There's another mess, and more mud on her legs, and hopefully her once clean, new outfit will come clean yet again. It seems like everything she does creates more work for me. Yet when I resign myself to her game and just watch her, it is so very clear that she's not really out to get me. Her activities have such a natural and unplanned flow. She doesn't pick up the hose with the laundry in mind. No, first she waters the plants, and waters, and waters. She tiptoes into the flowerbeds to get closer, careful to avoid stepping on the leaves. Of course she gets muddy feet, so she steps back onto the sidewalk to hose her feet off. This is when she gets her already muddy pants even wetter. Sometimes she decides they're too wet and takes them off. This is all done in absolute seriousness. As I watch her doing these things it becomes apparent that she is continuously thinking and choosing. Her 3 year old mind is always on, always working and figuring. If I'm quiet and leave her she will quietly continue on with something for quite some time.
Not to say that she is a pinnacle of self-reflection and quiet thought. She is 3 after all and if Tennyson is outside he'll get a good watering, and her seriousness is interrupted in her even greater desire that he doesn't touch her stuff.
There are so many sides to her, it's amazing. She's inquisitive, imaginative, loving, demanding, defiant and so much more. I don't know if I have the ability to sum her up in a few words. There are days when she tells me she loves me, that I'm her best friend. Days when she wants to help me with everything. She follows me around and tries to win my approval, her face beaming when I praise her. There are days she just doesn't care. She busies herself with toys and TV and Tennyson and we meet for lunch at the table. Then there are the days when it seems as though she woke up with only one goal - to drive me crazy. These are the days when she constantly gets into things and does things that she knows are off limits, things that she has been punished for and we have formed a blossoming understanding of. She gets into a confrontational mood and just pushes buttons all day. When I step in she gives me her knowing, watchagonnadoaboutit look and does it anyway. If I get more forceful she tantrums. She'll sit in time out and punch and kick walls, glaring at me, swinging her little fists in my direction. Or she'll look at me and just scream. Then she'll cry angrily until I let her out. These are the days she tells me she doesn't like me, and only loves Daddy, that I should go to work. These are the days that I think that if only she was a little older it would be easier, that she would understand somehow.
Then I quickly take it back. I know that she will get older, she will grow up. This is part of growing up. Every day she strives to discover who she is, what her place is in the family. She pushes to learn her limits and boundaries, but also her strengths. If she didn't push and assert herself she'd still be a baby. She's growing up so fast already. I know she's only 3, but wow, she's 3! And I have a sinking feeling that 3 will turn into 10 awfully quickly, and I am saddened to think of how fast these years will pass.
So I will treasure the good days, muddle through the tiring ones and love her unconditionally through all.
Every evening ends with her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her beautiful face grinning as she tells me she loves me. Being a mommy has many ups and downs, but there is nothing that can compare.
Happy Birthday Jordan, don't grow up too fast.
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