thursday, play dates, groceries, clown cars

Oh shit, I completely forgot that I was going to resolve to stop swearing in the new year. Too late now. I've got about 355 more days to get it out of my system.

I've been thinking lately about why I don't blog as much as I used to. I've decided to blame my friends. Today I talked on the phone with two different people, texted at least that many, and had three different facebook chat windows open at the same time. Once upon a time I'd think of something interesting to say, or something notable would happen and I'd blog about it. Now I text someone or pick up the phone and once I've told someone my super-fun gossip/tidbit/life experience it's out of my system, never to be seen in the blogosphere.

Basically, I have to dump all of you if I'm going to start blogging again. Goodbye cruel, super awesome friends.

Aside from the phone, texts and facebook messaging, I actually did have a fairly productive day. This morning I took Jordan and Tennyson to school and Mitchell to nursery school. Then Elliot and I made a menu for the week in the Walmart parking lot, which was made more difficult by the following conversation:

"Mommy, I have to go potty in the store."
"Okay Ellie, I'll take you potty."
Then she remembered that Walmart has scary, loud toilets.
"I not have to go potty."
"Okay Elliot. You don't have to go, but Mommy does, so you can come with me."
"No. You  not go potty."
"Well I am going to go potty." I always figure that if we hang out in there she'll be less scared.
"I not go potty."
"The potties are scary."
"You not go potty."
"Yes I am."
 "No, you not."
"Ellie, I'm trying to remember the five different meals I cook in rotation and to guess which ingredients I need to buy because I didn't do this yesterday, because Mommy is awesome. So stop talking for one minute."
"I not go potty in there."
"Okay Ellie. You. Do. Not. Have. To. Go. Potty. Stop talking to me."
taco seasoning
sour cream
"You not go potty."
Sigh. "I am going potty Elliot, but you don't have to go."
"You not flush the toilet."
Through gritted teeth; "When you go potty in the store, you flush the toilet. Now shush."
"We not go this store. We go cookie store. You buy me cookie."

And on, and on, and on.

I managed to buy a ridiculous amount of groceries at both Walmart and Sobey's, and fill the van with gas, all before ten o'clock. The best part of grocery shopping was realizing that I had five toboggans piled in the back of the van, and that I was picking up five kids from nursery school and kindergarten, and somehow had to load $200 worth of groceries around them in such a away that they didn't crack my eggs or smush my bread.

First world problems are a bitch.

Clown cars got nothing on my mini van.

Eventually picked up all the kids from school, brought them all home, unloaded my van, fed everyone lunch and put away the groceries. Then I made hamburger patties for tonight, sweet and sour pork for tomorrow, and the filling for the lasagna I want to make on Sunday. This was all before 1:30. Booyah.

Of course I had earned some couch time with my phone, laptop and iphone. That's right. Earned.

The kids and their friends alternated between loving and being irritated at each other. Actually, they only really got irritated with each other near the end of the play date.  It was cute, on the way home from school they had professed their love for each other and argued over which of my boys loved Anna the most. Anna loved them two billion times around Venus. Tennyson loved her 200. 200 what, I don't know, just 200. He figured that was more. Mitchie loved her 300. By the end of the afternoon they were scrapping and uninviting each other from their birthday parties and never having each other over again. Ever. I yelled at them a couple of times to be nice (this all kind of came to a head in the front entrance, where five little kids dawdled around putting their boots on and scrapping, and completely ignoring the crazy mommy who was yelling about how we be nice to our friends) and then when we got in the van and the dirty looks were  becoming decidedly eviler (anyone who has a five year old knows just how evil their dirty looks are, it's actually really funny if you haven't had enough, and they'd been really good to that point, so it was mildly entertaining, except that I didn't want to drop Anna off at home when they were in a state of not being friends)(those were long brackets)(my apologies) I finally said:
"Who wants to be the first kid...!"
"Me!" Anna yelled. I thought it was funny, since she had no idea where I was going with it.
"...To say sorry?" I finished.
"Sorry," Anna said.
"Sorry," Tennyson said.
"And you guys are all good?" I asked.
"And you're both going to go to each other's birthday parties?" I questioned.
"Let's listen to Jesus music!" somebody yelled. And again with the VBS Cd that's in truth, making me a little suicidal.

I have a feeling that the VBS people didn't have that intention when they made the CD.

It was like a Mormon revival party in my van. All five of them, in some capacity, sang the songs while I laughed. Then we picked up Jordan. More singing.

I need to start packing a flask in my orange mom-purse to help get me through the taxi parts of my day.

It was a good day. No geckos lost their tails (there's only one left to be ripped off), nothing really naughty happened, the kids sat and colored between coming home and getting ready for supper, giving me more time to play competitive facebook solitaire against cheaters, and Daddy came home and barbecued hamburgers and managed not to burn any to the point where they were declared burnt and unedible. Inedible.

Tomorrow there is supposed to be a giant storm, which will apparently wipe out motor homes and unattended children. As long as my wifi is intact I'm sure we'll be fine. No prepping required. We'll just eat the six loaves of rye bread I bought today. Unless Steven is buried in a snowbank until spring, he'll shovel out my driveway (the only arguable reason to NOT be a lesbian) and we'll carry on as normal, except that the toboggan hills will be extra fun and fluffy for the next little while.

Happy Thursday.


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