babies and husbands, as per jordan.

This morning I was listening to the radio. 92.1 FM. My favorite morning show. They were talking about a viral video of two dutch guys at a birth clinic, hooked up to a machine that (supposedly) lets them feel what labour feels like. They had electrodes attached to their stomachs and pelvis area.

The radio hosts were joking and laughing and cringing over the pain.

I thought briefly that maybe I should shut it off, but they weren't going into too much detail so I let it play. Then I got to school. Tennyson hopped out right away, Jordan hung back. She had that nervous look about her.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I knew right away she was freaking out over the radio show.

"I don't want to grow up," she said.

"Okay," I said. She just stared at me.

"Why?" I asked. "Because of what was on the radio?"

She nodded. "I don't want to get a baby. It's going to hurt, I'm scared."

I sighed. "Jordan, that's a long way away. Come up here, I want to talk to you."

She came.

"Listen," I said. "You don't have to have a baby if you don't want to you know."

She looked incredulous.

"No really. Nobody can make you have a baby if you don't want one. Lots of people don't. But it's not something you have to think about now. You certainly don't have to worry about it. We know lots of grown women that don't have babies, and they don't think they ever will, and they're happy about it, and that's alright. Nobody has to have a baby if they don't want to."

"Why don't they want to?"

"I don't know. They're doing other things, it's not something they want to do right now. And you don't have to either. But you know, you might feel differently when you're all grown up."

"But is it scary?"

"Well, a little. But then all of a sudden it's all over, and you have a baby. And you know, the first time I held my babies I forgot all the scary stuff, and I was so so happy. But you don't have to grow up and have a baby right away. You can grow up, and do all sorts of fun stuff. You don't even have to get married if you don't want. You can grow up, have all kind of interesting things you want to do, and you don't have to worry about babies and husbands. But you know what?"


"What's really cool, is that if you figure out the things you like to do, and the stuff you want to see, and along the way you happen to meet some really cool, nice guy who likes all those same things, you just might decide to marry him."

Jordan looked at me then, the anxiety disappearing from her eyes, and a mischievous, evil twinkle replacing it.

She grinned conspiratorially, "And then he can be kind of like a servant?"

"Yes," said, unable to contain my laughter.

My kid is awesome.


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