cookies, yams, and the last of the newborn years

The last few days I feel like I've got some energy back. Oh sure, going to bed at 11, waking up for an hour to listen to the baby cry at 3am and then getting up for the day somewhere between 5 and 6 will make a person tired, but it's not the bone deep exhaustion that comes from having a new baby. I know that I'm not supposed to be happy that my kids are quickly growing up and slowly needing me less, and I'm not really, but I have to admit that I don't really miss the 6 week old stage where the baby thinks that it's noon when it's really 4am.

It takes a long time to start feeling like ones self again.

As I write this, I also wonder if my sudden increase in feeling like myself again has to do with Ellie eating way more solids. We didn't really start her on any solid food until about a month ago, and it's only in the last few days where we've really let her eat like crazy. Today she had three solid little baby meals and a few cheerios in between to keep her happy while we accomplished some other things. Breastfeeding burns anywhere from 200-500 calories a day. I suppose it depends on the appetite of your child and how much she's eating. Running or walking a mile burns about 100 cals. So if you're breastfeeding enough to actually use up 400 calories, you've essentially plodded about 2 miles down the road and 2 miles back, without actually noticing the sore muscles and shin splints. This is on top of any real life exercise a person does, the chasing of the many small minions all day, lugging around the car seat, going to bed far too late (my own fault) and waking up in the night with little Miss Princess.

So maybe upping Elliots solids is reducing the amount she's eating, and the amount of energy she's leeching from my body.

I should have been a scientist.

I've decided to make much of my own baby food for this last baby. Last summer I peeled, cored and cooked dozens of apples and have dozens of frozen apple pucks in the freezer to show for it. Last week Elliot ate sweet potato all week, thanks to the giant sweet potato I cooked, watered down (a little) and mashed to a sweet pulp. Today I baked up a butternut squash and whipped that up and into a bunch of little containers. She loved it.

Last night I was going to do carrots. I steamed a couple of handfuls of fresh carrot sticks that I had cut up earlier for the other kids. I mashed them with a potato masher. I tried to use my hand mixer. They don't puree quite the same as some other veggies, and I don't have a food processor. Steven got out the blender and put them in there. He added a bunch of water, being that (as I warned him) blenders don't work so well if the stuff isn't really wet. Eventually we ended up with two containers of (sort of) mushed carrots. Ellie hated them. We threw them out. I then washed two different mixing bowls, a hand mixer, a blender, and all the other dishes associated with those carrots.

Over all though, I'm liking the idea of making her food. It was nothing to do that squash today.

I don't consider myself overly crunchy, but spooning my home cooked little dinners into my baby's happy little face is ridiculously satisfying.

Steven started school today. He's officially nearing the end of his first level of apprenticeship. It's very exciting. Tonight in between supper and dishes I quickly whipped up some cookies for his coffee breaks this week. I'm feeling very wifely indeed.

There are times when everything seems so hard, so frustrating, so unrewarding. Then there are the days when I just wish I could freeze time for a while before all of this slips away into the future. Crazy life anyway.

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