so long daycare
Today is the last day of daycare. Starting next week my kids will be cared for by our moms and other family members. To be honest, I'm pretty happy about it. Its not that I don't think daycare is a good idea. On the contrary - the kids get to spend time in an environment with lots of other kids, with different toys and activities and with different authority figures. Often family members are happy to say yes to anything kids want, to give them everything they point at or whine for and to let them get away with everything. It's good for kids to learn that it's not just Mommy and Daddy who have rules and structure. Also, Jordan loves daycare. Her face absolutely lights up when she finds out she's going. She is so excited. She's so eager to pack her lunch and scramble into her coat and boots. She wants to bring her own toys to show "Lucy" (Jordan's made-up name for the daycare worker. Nobody knows why, and we can't tell her any different. It's funny!). She's simply ecstatic!
And then there's Tennyson.
He cries. He starts looking concerned when I walk in the door and take his coat off. He starts to cry when I set him on the floor to help Jordan get her coat off. I detangle him from my pant legs so I can put his bottles in the fridge and he starts crying harder. I then turn around and pick him up from the floor where he's wailing.
Now, you're probably thinking that he's spoiled or coddled. He's not. We've never been big spoilers. Sure, our kids get lots of attention and affection, but we don't run and scoop up a kid who trips over something (unless really hurt), or help them with a little task they can figure out on their own just because they're frustrated. We've always been content to let our babies cry a few minutes before we pick them up. We don't rock them to sleep or put a bottle in the crib. To sum it up - we don't coddle.
Jordan never had any problems being left at daycare at any age. She was always eager to crawl off in the direction of the other kids. Tennyson, however, is more reserved and obviously has some separation anxiety.
If you were my daycare provider, what would you do? Would you come and take him from me? Would you try to cheer him a little and make the transition a little easier? That's what I would do.
Not at my daycare. After I've put my stuff in the fridge I pick my crying baby up and give him one last hug and kiss. Nobody makes any move to come and get him. So with heavy heart I set him behind the gate and head up the stairs as he screams and cries behind me. I look back to see him clutching the gate and wailing. His cheeks are wet with tears and he's giving me a look of despair and abandonment. Still, nobody picks him up. I can still hear him crying as I put my shoes on and walk out the front door. It makes me feel horrible when I drive away knowing that he's crying at that gate and waiting for me to come back for him.
They once told me he cried for 15 minutes after I left. Why on earth is that necessary? It's not that I expect them to hold him all day, that's ridiculous. Kids parents sometimes leave and it's something that they have to get used to, but why not make the goodbye easier? When neither of the ladies are changing a diaper or giving a bottle why couldn't Tennyson sit in someones lap for just a couple of minutes? He'd be okay after that. I leave him with friends or relatives and they pick him up for a big hug when they see him and he doesn't cry when I leave. I want Tennyson to feel safe and cared for even if mommy isn't with him. It's no wonder he's upset. I think it's just mean. It's only 10am right now and I'm so anxious to go and get them, and so relieved that these tearful goodbyes are over.
And then there's Tennyson.
He cries. He starts looking concerned when I walk in the door and take his coat off. He starts to cry when I set him on the floor to help Jordan get her coat off. I detangle him from my pant legs so I can put his bottles in the fridge and he starts crying harder. I then turn around and pick him up from the floor where he's wailing.
Now, you're probably thinking that he's spoiled or coddled. He's not. We've never been big spoilers. Sure, our kids get lots of attention and affection, but we don't run and scoop up a kid who trips over something (unless really hurt), or help them with a little task they can figure out on their own just because they're frustrated. We've always been content to let our babies cry a few minutes before we pick them up. We don't rock them to sleep or put a bottle in the crib. To sum it up - we don't coddle.
Jordan never had any problems being left at daycare at any age. She was always eager to crawl off in the direction of the other kids. Tennyson, however, is more reserved and obviously has some separation anxiety.
If you were my daycare provider, what would you do? Would you come and take him from me? Would you try to cheer him a little and make the transition a little easier? That's what I would do.
Not at my daycare. After I've put my stuff in the fridge I pick my crying baby up and give him one last hug and kiss. Nobody makes any move to come and get him. So with heavy heart I set him behind the gate and head up the stairs as he screams and cries behind me. I look back to see him clutching the gate and wailing. His cheeks are wet with tears and he's giving me a look of despair and abandonment. Still, nobody picks him up. I can still hear him crying as I put my shoes on and walk out the front door. It makes me feel horrible when I drive away knowing that he's crying at that gate and waiting for me to come back for him.
They once told me he cried for 15 minutes after I left. Why on earth is that necessary? It's not that I expect them to hold him all day, that's ridiculous. Kids parents sometimes leave and it's something that they have to get used to, but why not make the goodbye easier? When neither of the ladies are changing a diaper or giving a bottle why couldn't Tennyson sit in someones lap for just a couple of minutes? He'd be okay after that. I leave him with friends or relatives and they pick him up for a big hug when they see him and he doesn't cry when I leave. I want Tennyson to feel safe and cared for even if mommy isn't with him. It's no wonder he's upset. I think it's just mean. It's only 10am right now and I'm so anxious to go and get them, and so relieved that these tearful goodbyes are over.
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On a similar note, we live right across the street from a day care. My office window faces it (we are a few floors up, so it's more like a birds-eye view of it). All day I have to listen to children crying because their parents are dropping them off, crying because their parents are picking them up - and seriously? I think its the same kids in both situations!
For me? I would get tired of it (needless to say I kind of am - its beautiful outside and I want to keep the office window open, but the racket!) But the fact that I am tired of it means pretty little. We need to consider the fact that I am not a day care worker and it is not my chosen profession for good reasons. I do not have those skills! Day care workers, on the other hand should. And the ones across the street do - I have no idea how they can sing ring-around-the-rosy all day, everyday, every afternoon of every weekday, without growing tired of it. Not only that, they sing it loudly, and slightly off key...