morning drama, verwey style

I am standing at the island, making Jordan's lunch. I can hear the kids down the hall getting more and more worked up.

Jordan is yelling "Get off! Elliot, get off!" Elliot is screaming and yelling "No!" at her.

"Stop it!" yells Tennyson. "Stop it Jordan, I am tellling Mommy!"

"She's going to start on fire!" Jordan yells. This is exactly the thing a mother wants to hear. I wonder if  the kids have found the lighter that I keep buried in my sock drawer. Maybe they're not in the boys' room at all.

Tennyson comes charging down the hallway. "Jordan is choking Elliot!"


"She's choking Elliot! Come!"

I highly doubted that Jordan was choking Elliot. It's so not her style. She kind of loves the "baby", even when she doesn't really like her. I follow him down the hall to the boys' room. Jordan is dragging Elliot across the room by her arm. This is both pulling her sweater up her arms and over her head. Her pants are being pulled down around her legs. She is mad and screaming.

"What are you doing Jordan?" I ask. Surly there's an explanation. I may have even laughed.

Jordan is serious and dramatic. "She's going to start on fire! She's sitting on the furnace!" Jordan points to the vent.

I start laughing. "Just leave her Jordan, she's not going to start on fire. She won't start on fire just from sitting on a vent cover."

Jordan looks at me like I've sprung a second head. "Mommy, she will. Clothes burn if you put them on there - you said."

"Well, maybe. You shouldn't put clothes on there, but I'm pretty sure Elliot won't start on fire."

I may have said at one point not to pile things in and around heaters (or vents, apparently). It's kind of a good rule of thumb. Pretty sure Elliot wasn't really that close to combusting this morning.


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