this is how

The library phoned today to let me know that a book I had reserved was in. I never answer the phone when it's the library, because I always assume that they're calling to remind me, yet again, that I have over due books. In fact, I did end up paying $6 in fees today. The librarian also reminded at the end of her message that any reserved books that were not picked up were subject to a $0.50 fine. I'm pretty sure that is where a small portion of my library fines actually comes from.

Sometimes I'll put a hold on a book and then it takes weeks or months before it's my turn to read it. Sometimes I'll get my monthly Good Reads email and peruse that, putting holds on library books as I go, and then promptly forget about the books and end up happily surprised when I get called to come and pick up an especially good one.

Today when the librarian left her message, she raced through the lengthy title and I didn't really catch it. Do you want to know what the title was? I bet you do.

This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike. by Augusten Burroughs

I do not remember putting a hold on this. I also do not usually read self-help books. I was a little confused when she slid the book across the counter at me, and I didn't want to tell her that I didn't think I had reserved the book, nor did I want to pay the fee, so I signed it out. I'm already convinced that they roll their eyes any time a reservation comes up under my name, especially since half the time the book is probably sitting on the shelves and they undoubtedly figure that I'm just too lazy to look for it. That's not entirely true, although it is kind of nice to show up at the library and have the book pulled for me already. Still. I also didn't want her to think that I frolicked through the website and just clicked holds on random books. That is also not entirely true. Anyway, I didn't want her to think I was haphazard in my choices, and they had set aside this book so I just took it.

This is it:


This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike. by Augusten Burroughs

Yeah. Not sure I have to overcome a lot of these things. I kind of wish I did. Maybe not fatness and spinsterhood, but maybe Lushery, or a mind altering disease like syphilis would make me more interesting. A combination of the two might be downright entertaining.

Comments

Sonya said…
That's too funny! :)
At least your library calls to tell you your books are over due. MacGregor library never calls about over due books, so it's always nice when I find a book under my bed that I signed out a year and a half ago.
Tiffany said…
Those would be some awesome late fees!

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