100 things about me, part 3

Remember the 100 Things About Me list that I started in January (part 1, part 2)? Well, here’s part three. It’s turning into a 2012 project instead of one or two blog posts.

I’ll admit that I jotted these down when I was driving through Winnipeg - at red lights of course. I wouldn’t be reckless enough to do it while actually driving. If anyone had gotten annoyed at my delayed 0-60 when the lights turned green they certainly didn’t speed up beside me and initiate obscene hand gestures. If they had I’d have just happily waved my notebook at them and yelled “Sorry! Blogging!” That would have made it better.

This explains why most of the points are about driving habits. I probably shouldn’t share these, but I feel that by the time a person does the 100 Things About Me list three or four times she’s got to dig a little deeper.

51. If you’re my friend or relative I’ve probably bought you a birthday/father’s day/mother’s day/grandparent’s day card. I have probably not given it to you. I bought a handful of cards right before father’s day. I needed three father’s day cards and a birthday card. They’re all still sitting on my microwave. It’s not that I don’t think fathers deserve their cards, it’s just that I forget stuff when I leave my house. Steven’s mom’s birthday was on Saturday. Her birthday card is still sitting on my counter. I am awesome.

52. I was the world’s worst student. The worst. Especially in university. The first few years I’d write essays and work on assignments beginning at 9 or 10 the night before. By the last year I was starting 20 page essays at 9 or 10 at night three days after they were due. That’s how I rolled. Steven thinks that being a fast typer does not help when one has to write long essays or novels in a month. I disagree. I consider myself a master bullshitter and a speedy and efficient typer. Both qualities served  me well.

53. I still ended up on the Dean’s Honour List in my 5th year, despite having had a baby and a lot of overdue and ill-thought-out assignments. It seriously makes me doubt the faculty.

54. I always thought it would be cool to have my ears poke out ever-so-slightly. I don’t mean to the point where I couldn’t fit through doorways.  Just a little pokey-outey. I wonder if it would be possible to reverse-pin my kids’ ears out?

The Driving Section. It’s not as long as I thought. Maybe it felt longer because it took me three red lights to write it.

55. If you tailgate me I will not speed up. Seriously. Don’t be a road bully, it’s not nice. When I lived in Winnipeg I’d have to drive North on Pembina when going home from work or school and if it was busier all the lanes would be full. Then I’d have to swing a u-turn half a block past my apartment to get home. If someone tail gated me I’d go a few blocks further and slow down to about 45 just to stick it to the person who figured that by driving in my trunk he’d be able to bully me into speeding up. Of course the business of the highway would prevent passing so he’d be stuck with me just a little longer. Good times.

56. I have a pet peeve about people who inch forward at stop lights to move up three inches. Once you’ve stopped, stay stopped. It irritates me that if I’m not really paying attention I’ll think we’re going and I’ll go too. Now I make sure that the light is green before moving. Except . . . Okay, I have this thing where I find it amusing to stop half a car length behind the person ahead of me and then when all the traffic behind me stops I’ll slowly roll ahead six inches just to see if the guy behind me will pull ahead too. Then I’ll do it again.

57. I hate when people park at a red light or stop sign and are past the stop line. If I stop at a red light beside someone who is sitting on top of the stop line I’ll park half a car length back from the stop line, just to make the person feel extra guilty. I’m sure it works. The city should really pay me for my efforts to make people more conscientious (thank god for spell check) of pedestrians.

58. I believe in stopping at yellow lights. Sometimes the light turns yellow and I’m not sure whether I should hurry up or stop. The decision I make generally depends on whether or not I’ve had coffee.

59. And you thought this post wouldn’t be interesting.

60. Steven says he’d like to build a house out of hay bales. Of course as a normal, saneish person I won’t let him. I told him the other day that I thought it would be cooler to build a house into a hill-side (there’d have to be a tunnel to my secret reading room/writing room/lair). He perked up a little at that. I should probably watch what I say around him more.

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