tiffany's spot

I went to Co-op the other day. They're having a warehouse sale and I was really excited to buy a box of chicken. It's usually $40 but down to $26 or $28 or something. Remember the days when we were excited to have friends over on a Friday night or go out, or buy needless things? Now it's about chicken on sale. I grabbed my chicken along with a few other things and made my way to the checkout. The clerk rang my stuff through and it was obvious right away that she had forgotten something big, but she was just standing there with a friendly smile on her face and reading me my total. As much as a free box of chicken would have been a lovely bonus, I quickly pointed out her error and pulled the box out of my cart to be re-scanned. And you thought I ran from the store with the box of chicken didn't you? Just like the tv ad where the woman goes running from the store yelling "Start the Car!!" It's funny how doing the right thing makes you feel all good about you...

Anybody who has ever been pregnant knows that the worst part of it is the clothes. The clothes are TERRIBLE! The shirts aren't so bad really, but those pants are nasty. Maternity clothing manufacturers try to make newer and better things, and there are a few different options - pants worn under the belly, pants with the huge elastic bands that wrap around your midsection and torso, the adjustable inside strap, etc. But when you really get thinking about it, these all SUCK! Do you want to know why? Because no matter what style you have, or how loose or tight you buy them, they fall down. Watch any pregnant woman for a short while, and note how often she's tugging her pants back up. If I could find myself a pair of denim short overalls I'd buy them, current style be darned. I got to thinking that a nice maternity sundress would really be the way to go. Being that I am thrifty (or cheap) I really don't want to spend a fortune on a maternity summer wardrobe, especially sinc...

Steven's off today, and I am not. I'm working today in high school. High school is my absolute preference for subbing - I like it better than the little kids, and WAY better than junior high, except that today I have grade 9 science all day. If you do the math, you'll realise that grade 9 is only one year past grade 8. Grade 8 is junior high. There, now that you're all caught up on this I'll add to it the fact that the next class has 29 students in it. Aside: Oddly enough, grade 10 is my favorite high school grade. Go figure. Back to Steven being off: not fair, especially being that I'm in grade 9 all day. It is funny though, that last night I threatened to hop the kids up on sugar before I left this morning. I kind of forgot about it until Jordan started asking for cookies. Like a good mom, I told her she had to finish her Honey Nut Cheerios first and then she could have a cookie. I don't think I've ever seen her eat the sugary confection as fast as sh...

Steven has been working at his current job for seven months now. He likes the people and doesn't mind the work. However, he has been on term the entire time. This means no employee benefits, bonuses or job security. Being that I'm about to go on mat leave this isn't so good! Never fear! He has just been giving a permanent position! Not only that, but it's an operator's job and he thinks there may be a slightly better wage for that. He'll be on probation for the next few months and then by the end of the summer he should be officially, permanently employed! This is so exciting.

This morning I took the kids and went to church. It was raining on the way home, so there went the idea of playing outside all afternoon. What to do? The answer was obvious! Bake cookies. Okay, those of you who really know me know that it really isn't the obvious answer. I never bake. But by 1 o'clock I had fed the kids, put Tennyson down for a nap and had some cookies in the oven. Dishes done, supper prepared, mom talked to. The problem is, I now have no idea what I want to do! I'm so bored. The weekends when Steven works are boring, especially when it rains. Jordan and I just had a snack of hot chocolate and cookies. It's only 2:39, and I think my cookie count is up to 5 already. I really need to stop eating them. However, if I can't find anything else to do I may just have to eat more cookies.

Or else. See left.

Today I told a kid I was going to squish him inside his desk.

Jordan is picking her nose. Again. As with any good conversation, this one occurs in the van. tiffany: Jordan, stop picking your nose. jordan: But I like to. tiffany: Do you know what happens when you pick your nose? It falls off. If you keep picking your nose like that it'll fall right off. jordan: (showing obvious concern, while removing her finger) Then it won't be on me anymore? tiffany: nope. jordan: Then I won't have a nose? tiffany: Nope. It'll fall right off and you won't have a nose anymore. You wouldn't believe how well this has worked. Today she asked if I would pick her nose for her. I guess she figures that Mommy has some sort of magic touch and her nose won't fall off if I do it. What a perfect opportunity to get out a kleenex.

If you use dynamite in the water, it'll stun the fish. This actually works. There's a guy in town here who does this. You can probably blow up a car with only one stick of dynamite. For only $200 you can get your commercial fireworks license. Then you can get cheap fireworks. "Toddler sheep" taste better than old sheep. Switch camels. Normally hardworking 40S students will accomplish nothing in the presence of a substitute teacher. Having elastics on your braces should entitle you to a handicap parking tag. It also lables you a cripple. You can turn your windshield washer fluid in order to squirt the squeegee kids. Hacking is not that hard. That's why it's so easy. Using a vacuum cleaner is an acceptable way to put your hair in a ponytail. Coloring on your peers is a hilarious way to pass the otherwise boring time. Asking to go to the washroom is code for "can I go wander around the school for 30 minutes?" Also usable - "I left my book in my loc...

Ever think of little ways to save time? I remember when Lyla, Ange and I used to work at the Portage Mutual together. Lyla used to have these little "systems" where she'd do things a certain way and we'd laugh at her, probably because she used the word "system" a lot, and with complete seriousness. She was so cute. And very good natured. Okay - note here. When I end a sentence with a period and then continue a sentence afterward that would really be considered part of the same sentence I'm doing it intentionally. I know it's wrong, but I sort of think this way. Consider it an afterthought. Although if any of my students ever did it I'd shame them, publicly question their upbringing and have them sit in the corner with the pointy hat. I on the other hand am an adult, capable of individual thoughts and decisions and am above reproach. After all, it is my blog. Just wanted you to know I'm not grammatically inept. She was so cute. And good nature...

Sigh. Steven is on a rotating schedule of days and nights. This means that out of four weekends he has two weekends off, one day shift weekend, and one night shift weekend. This is the night shift weekend. Along with spiders, junior high kids, and Steven getting way ahead on Wii when I'm not home, his night shift weekend is the bane of my existence. Friday, Saturday and Sunday of me. I am so not my own best friend. For instance, I sabotage myself. Lately I have realized that not only do I eat lots of junk, I eat it more than once a day! The other day it occurred to me that I had a chocolate bar, 7 cookies and a cinnamon bun (yes - with cream cheese smeared all over it). That wasn't even on night shift weekend! That's when I sneak a chocolate bar when I'm in the van. So I don't have to share. When he's on nights and I'm lonely in the evening it's worse. Today though, I'm doing pretty good. Only one cinnamon bun so far. Sometimes I start these little p...