happy new year

2018. It's been 18 years since we were all convinced that the world was going to end. Remember that? Of course some of us worried slightly less and figured that if it was going to happen we may as well be drunk at a social when it did. That was a good night. And it was so so long ago. I don't know where the time has gone, really. Or if I've "changed and grown" enough to account for the passage of 18 years of legal adulthood.

Things feel a little hopeless lately, to be honest. I know I know, lovely husband, nice family, house, car, fence. I have nothing to complain about besides a dose of healthy 1st world melancholy, but still.

I worked for 7 whole weeks at a company here that makes and bends and welds things out of metal. Lots of farm machinery, some bus parts, this big grain conveyor/mulcher/feeder things for cows. I was on the paint line. I hung parts on a conveyor. I sometimes set up the racks for the parts. I jumped out from behind things and tried to scare coworkers. Friends sent me job postings for "girlier" jobs, but I was having fun. I was the only girl on the production floor and I was killing it. Until suddenly the nerves in my right hand/arm/wrist decided that enough was enough and the pain and numbness and tingling overnight had me in the office filling out an incident report. A visit to the doctor and a prescription for two weeks of light duty and a some-day appointment for carpal tunnel syndrome and it was decided by the powers that be that Tiffany would no longer be the paint line girl. She'd be part-time/casual until something less physical opened up. Except, that I do actually need to be paid. I decided that if I was going to be part-time, I may as well go back to subbing.

I may have been hasty in it. I don't know. I really miss it.

I'm a little back to square one right now. I sub on Monday. I'm not excited for it. I'm trying to have a good attitude, to look forward to the kids, the schools, but I really didn't think 18 years ago that at 37 I'd be without a full-time job.

I keep thinking I should blog, or write some stuff, or get excited about running again, but ugh.

As far as blogging or writing things, I really have nothing. Maybe I should start a gratitude journal or a book of awesome, or any number of the trendy happy things people do.

Maybe tomorrow. 

Happy New Year


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