once upon a time, tennyson went for a walk. as written and narrated by elliot

My kids are all sitting at the table, colouring various pictures, posters and colouring books. They've been constantly bickering since getting home from school.

Elliot takes a pieces of paper, and scribbles it with ten different colours before lifting it up in front of her, pausing for dramatic effect, and beginning:

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Tennyson. He was going for a walk. Naked."

The room erupts in laughter from Mitchell and Jordan, screaming from Tennyson, and laughter from Elliot, until the angry bear slaps the paper out of her hand, resulting in her shrieking proclamation: "You Wecked My Paper!"

I'm in the kitchen, trying not to laugh because it is kind of funny. I yell at them all to knock it off. They settle. Tennyson tells Elliot she's mean. She is offended. A moment later, she has smoothed out her "story." She gives it a shake, lifts it up, clears her throat, and begins again.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Tennyson..."

"STOP!" hollers Tennyson.

Elliot stares him down and continues "....and he went for a walk, in his clothes."

"See," says Jordan, "she changed it."

Tennyson scowls.

Elliot continues her sentence. "His clothes was . . . his underwear!"

Commence chaotic outside voices.

Biggest. Button Pusher. Ever.


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