tiffany's spot

This morning I was listening to the radio. 92.1 FM. My favorite morning show. They were talking about a viral video of two dutch guys at a birth clinic, hooked up to a machine that (supposedly) lets them feel what labour feels like. They had electrodes attached to their stomachs and pelvis area. The radio hosts were joking and laughing and cringing over the pain. I thought briefly that maybe I should shut it off, but they weren't going into too much detail so I let it play. Then I got to school. Tennyson hopped out right away, Jordan hung back. She had that nervous look about her. "What's wrong?" I asked. I knew right away she was freaking out over the radio show. "I don't want to grow up," she said. "Okay," I said. She just stared at me. "Why?" I asked. "Because of what was on the radio?" She nodded. "I don't want to get a baby. It's going to hurt, I'm scared." I sighed. "Jordan, t...

On the Kraft "cheese sauce" Packet: Um, yeah, I might have seen it on the shelf. No, this is not it. This is original Kraft Dinner. With its original powdered cheese-flavored sauce. But thanks for making me feel worse about my already-guilty-pleasure. If I was concerned with servings of vegetables I wouldn't be feeding the kids Kraft Dinner. Do I want you to put cauliflower in it? No. Fiber? No. Trying to take a heavily processed, nutritionally vacant product and make it healthy? Not working. So don't wreck it. ********************* Steven at MacDonald's (not that we ever actually end up there): "Hey, that's a delicious looking big mac you're eating. The nutritional value is right here on the back of the place mat. Wanna know how many calories are in that?" "No." Take giant bite. "No really it says right here..." Begins to tell me the number anyway. I slam down my delicious hamburger "No! I said ...

me: Now I'm playing Words With Friends. I hate scrabble. steven: then why are you playing it? me: because it's something i can cheat at and WIN! steven laughs jordan: how do you cheat? me: Well, you go on the internet, wait, no Jordan. When you play games with friends you don't cheat. Unless you're playing against pirates.

ON BUBBLE GUPPIES (stupidest show ever) Kid 1: I want some bubble bites! Kid 2: I want some bubble bites! Store owner: Oh no! We only have one box left! What are we to do? Me: FIGHT!! Tennyson and Jordan: Uh, no. They have to share Mommy. Jeez. They would not do well in Supermarket Showdown.

Alright, I'm going to complain - and then I'm going to post a second post with the cutest picture of the day so far so that the complaining post isn't on top for the next few weeks until I feel so inclined to blog again. I get that there is a lot of snow. Seriously, I do see it. With that being said, why on earth is the best possible time to clear snow 8:30 in the morning? Why? I'll try not to take this personally. But it is personal. They blocked the route I use to take the kids to school. You might think that there would be more than one reasonable route to school. You would be wrong. I have this thing with left hand turns (I swear I'm not just writing this so that none of you ever asks me for a ride again, for yourself or your children, ever). I hate them. Oh sure, if it's not busy I don't mind stopping at a stop sign and making that left. As soon as it's busy? I hate it. I get serious stop sign road rage. Not even rage. Road anxiety. The ki...

In a moment the fire hall is going to be three people fuller.