wipe your own bum. or maybe don't...
Elliot : (from "somewhere" down the hall) Can someone wipe my bum! Me : (from the living room) Hang on! Elliot : Wipe my bum RIGHT NOW. Me : Excuse me? Elliot : Excuse me? Me : You are being very rude. Elliot : You are being very rude. Me : I'm gonna spank you! Elliot : I'm gonna spank you! A short recess while I realize my across-the-house threats and scolding are not very, well, threatening. Elliot : Wipe! My! Bum! Me : In a sec. I fire up another game of solitaire on the computer. Elliot : WIPE MY BUM! I finish the game. I head to the bathroom. The princess is sitting happily grinning at me from her throne. Me : You are not being very nice. Elliot : I like you! Me : Yeah. That's because I'm nice. Superior parenting happens in my house in a moment by moment basis. I always figure if I dawdle she'll be more eager to start looking after her own toileting. I think usually she just gives up and leaves, sans wiping. Actually no,