tiffany's spot

Alright, apparently nobody liked my book review from yesterday. Fine. Whatever. I present Tuesday's Fantastic Five: My right thumb has a finger crack right at the tip. It's the exact part of the thumb I text with. Fan-freakin-tastic. My lips are chapped from breathing through my mouth all day due to my cold. My baby is less than attractive due to her bright red, chafed teething cheeks. Gotta love those fantastic two year molars coming in before baby is two. It's 4:02 and the magic supper fairy has yet to arrive and transform the half-thawed bag of hamburger sitting in the sink. I'm on the waiting list at the library for a book I really want to read. Someone is hoarding my book. First world problems are a real bitch. Seriously though, not a bad day. Got a 5+ mile walk in this morning with a friend, used the cold as an excuse to set a giant pile of peanut butter and jam sandwiches on the table and call it lunch, and had a little cat nap on the couch while the b...

I just read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. By 'just read' I mean that a friend dropped the book off today and I read it. I figure that if I ever get Alzheimer's the ability to read a book in a day will be beneficial. I'd hate to have to start the same book day after day, although supposing I had Alzheimer's I wouldn't know enough to hate that I was doing that. As it stands, although I am extremely forgetful at times, I don't have Alzheimer's. I've read ten books already this year, in probably fifteen days. I'll start a book and get caught up in it and then if it's really good I'll read it within the next 24 - 48 hours. If it's pretty good it might take me four or five days. If it's dull, well either I'll ditch it or read it over a longer period of time. When I read it in a day? I feel guilty. Surely the kids need me to watch them (or at least be aware of them) running around with Buzz and Ironman. In all honesty, ...

Jordan's on the phone with Steven. This is the conversation: Jordan : Daddy, where's my music player? Jordan : (to me) Daddy says it's in the booze cabinet. Me : Good grief. Tell Daddy little girls aren't allowed to say booze. Jordan : Daddy, Mommy says little girls aren't allowed to say booze. Jordan : Daddy said I can say boo. Me : Nope.

It's not even going to be a "ten things about elliot" or "ten reasons why i should rule the world" list (although, that might be a good idea). Today's ten things are just random, but immensely important things that I'm sure you'll want to know. 1. If I had a baby born with an extra finger or toe I'd have it lopped off immediately. None of this "Six Fingered Man" stuff. Did you see what happened to Tyrone Rugen ? Having six fingers is just not a good idea. Steven says he'd fight to keep that finger. Apparently the kid would be really good at guitar. I figured being stoned at school for being weird and fingery would  not be worth more efficient guitar playing. As I told a friend this morning, I stopped at four kids, in part, because I wanted to stop before they started mutating. 2. Steven threw out the gym bag that I made in home ec. in grade 7. Can you believe it? Me neither. The heartlessness of the act. I retaliated with name ...

I picked up Jordan at 3:38 today. I know school lets out at 3:30. Sue me. I showed up just in time to see her riding her back pack down the snow hill. It's okay, I love replacing things she destroys. She's worse than the boys. This year she has lost at least one tuque, a pair of mittens, a pair of shoes (I managed to find them in the school) and a nice sweater. In the fall I bought her a new snowsuit from Sears as well as a new pair of boots. She has worn holes in the jacket as well as all but destroyed her ski pants. I blame the lack of snow. She loves to run and slide on patches of ice. It would be nice if the ice was flanked by snow or more ice instead of concrete. I had to buy new boots a few weeks ago because she pulled the rubber bottoms right off the boots. The worst part of catching her riding her back pack down the hill was the subsequent obligation on my part to scold her. I hate picking her up and scolding her. I much prefer "Hi Jordan! Did you have a fantasti...

Watching the clothing spin around and around. Crowding the people using the bill-to-change machine so she could watch the loonies come out into the tray. Sharing a box of smarties. More the smarties, less the sharing. The friendly laundromat attendant who kept chatting with Elliot and calling her "him". Flushing the toilet in the restroom. The last ounce of coffee that she drank out of my coffee cup.

I started to write a blog post about the weather, but decided that it was infinitely more boring than just telling you that I was going to tell you about the weather. I'm just sitting here in my quiet dining room. My boys are watching tv and Elliot is having a nap. I know, I should send them outside. I will. The kids keep asking me if winter is over. The other day we were driving to pick up Jordan. There were puddles on the sides of the otherwise snow and ice-free roads. Water was dripping off eves and out of trees. Kids on the playground were running around with their jackets unzipped. "No," I said. "Winter is not over. It's just really nice out." I'm sure they think I don't know what I'm talking about. We're having April in February and I love it. Tennyson knows that his birthday is in the spring. We always tell him that when the snow is gone his birthday will get here. Poor kid. The snow has disappeared and come back numerous times...